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In a stunning display of fiscal innovation, President Flimflam Nonsense unveiled his latest tax plan today, a proposal that promises to protect the Constitution from the ravages of natural disasters by funding a state-of-the-art disaster prevention agency. The plan, which has been christened the Constitutionnal Disaster Defense Initiative" (CDDI), aims to use the revenue generated from a series of novel tax measures to fund a scientific endeavor so ambitious that it claims to prevent disasters before they occur.

At the heart of the CDDI is the "Predictive Pesetas Law," which requires all citizens to pay taxes not only on their current income but also on their future earnings based on predictions made by a newly formed government agency, the Bureau of Unprecedented Fiscal Science (BUFS). The BUFS, staffed by a team of Nobel Prize-winning meteorologists, economists, and psychics, will use a combination of advanced science and intuition to forecast the financial success of individuals up to 25 years in advance.

"Our founders envisioned a nation so secure that not even an act of God could undermine it," President Nonsense declared in a rousing speech. "With the CDDI, we are taking this vision to the next level. We will not only safeguard our physical infrastructure but also our constitutional framework from the unpredictable fury of nature."

The President's plan also includes the "Fiscal Foresight Franchise Tax," a levy on all businesses that fail to invest in future-predicting technologies. Companies that refuse to comply will face hefty fines and a mandatory subscription to the BUFS's predictive analytics services.

Critics of the plan argue that the CDDI is nothing more than a veiled attempt to expand government control and infringe upon the economic freedoms guaranteed by the Constitution it purports to protect. However, supporters of the initiative hail it as a bold step towards a more proactive and innovative approach to disaster management and taxation.

In a related development, the President announced the establishment of the Constitutionnal Defense Corps" (CDC), an elite force of first responders trained in the art of historical precedent and constitutional law. The CDC will be deployed at the first sign of a fiscal or natural disaster to ensure the Constitution's integrity is upheld and to remind citizens that, in times of crisis, the document serves as a guiding light through the chaos.

As the nation braces for the implementation of this ambitious plan, one thing is clear: President Nonsense's CDDI is set to redefine the relationship between taxation, science, and the Constitution in ways that will either secure our nation's future or lead to the most unprecedented fiscal fiasco in history. Only time will tell if the President's gamble will pay off or leave the country in a state of financial and constitutional shock.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.