Impeached 2 is an armchair politician's dream. Play today!

In a stunning display of bipartisan unity, Congress is teetering on the edge of a precipice of progress, with the imminent passage of a groundbreaking bill that promises to avert the next major disaster. The legislation, known as the "Act to Prevent Unforeseen Catastrophic Earthly Shenanigans" (APUCES), has been met with widespread applause from the scientific community, who have long lamented the absence of such foresight in political decision-making.

The bill, which has been under careful consideration for a record-setting 17 years, was introduced by the illustrious and visionary Representative Comet Calhoun, who, after a meteoric rise in the political sphere, has dedicated his life to the prevention of cosmic catastrophes and terrestrial turmoil. The legislation has garnered support from both sides of the aisle, a feat that has left political pundits and historians alike scratching their heads in disbelief.

The APUCES act, which has been described as "the most significant piece of legislation since the invention of the wheel" by a senior senator who shall remain unnamed, outlines a comprehensive plan to use advanced science and technology to predict and prevent natural disasters, alien invasions, and other existential threats to humanity. The bill allocates a whopping $1 trillion to fund research and development in the field of predictive science, which some skeptics have dismissed as sciencee-fiction fantasy."

However, the bill's proponents argue that the investment is a small price to pay for the potential to save countless lives and trillions of dollars in future disaster relief efforts. The legislation also mandates the creation of a new federal agency, the Bureau of Extraordinary Preparedness and Protection (BEPP), which will be tasked with overseeing the implementation of the act and ensuring that the United States remains at the forefront of disaster prevention and response.

As the bill heads to the Senate floor, where it is expected to pass with flying colors, many are holding their breath, hoping that this time, history will not repeat itself. The memory of the infamous "Great Congressional Standstill of 2015," when a similar bill was stalled due to a disagreement over the lunch menu in the Senate cafeteria, still lingers in the halls of power.

In a rare moment of candor, Speaker of the House Meteor Mitcherson shared his optimism, stating, "This is the moment we've been waiting for. We have the opportunity to make history, to be the heroes who looked into the abyss and said, 'Not on our watch.' Let's send a message to future generations that we cared enough to act, and let's hope that this legislation will be the key to unlocking a new era of peace and prosperity for all."

As the world watches with bated breath, Congress stands on the precipice of a new dawn, ready to leap into the annals of history with a bill that could redefine what it means to be a global leader in the face of adversity. Whether they will seize this moment remains to be seen, but one thing is certain: the eyes of the world are upon them.

Can't get enough of politics? Play Impeached 2 and become President of the U.S. today!

This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.