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In a stunning twist of events, the newly proposed Democratic Tax Overhaul has sparked a flurry of economic speculation and scientific fascination that could potentially ignite a new revolution in the world of finance. The bill, dubbed the "Cash-Flush Comet Act," aims to tax income at rates that correspond with the individual's astrological sign, with promises of economic prosperity that only a horoscope could predict.

"We've always known that the stars align for the most discerning of taxpayers," proclaimed the bill's lead sponsor, Congresswoman Celestia Moonbeam, during a press conference held in a makeshift observatory on the Capitol lawn. "With this groundbreaking legislation, we're ensuring that every citizen's financial zodiac is honored and taxed accordingly."

The proposal has sent shockwaves through the economic community, with experts predicting that the new tax system could lead to a surge in astrological investment strategies and a boom in occupations such as palm reader financial advisors and numerologist tax accountants.

Meanwhile, in a completely unrelated turn of events, the Republican party has countered with their own bill, the "Fiscal Fidelity Framework," which proposes to tax citizens based on their favorite ice cream flavor. "We believe that every American's choice of vanilla, chocolate, or rocky road should be respected and reflected in their tax returns," said Senator Mint Chip, munching on a waffle cone during the announcement.

As the political ice cream parllor debate heats up, the field of science watches with bated breath. The scientific community, feeling neglected by the whimsical tax talk, has decided to take matters into their own beakers. They have launched a rival initiative, the "Quantum Quibble Query," which aims to tax individuals based on their quantum entanglement with the national debt. "We're leveraging the principles of quantum mechanics to determine the exact fiscal contribution of each citizen," explained Dr. Quark Einstein of the Super Collider Science Institute. "It's science, Jim, but not as we know it."

With the nation's fiscal future now in the hands of astrologers, ice cream connoisseurs, and quantum physicists, one can only wonder what the next chapter of American economics will hold. Will the Cash-Flush Comet Act steer the ship of state towards a new age of financial harmony, or will it leave us all paying taxes in a galaxy far, far away? Only the market, or perhaps the cosmos, will tell.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.