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In a shocking turn of events that has left political pundits and mobile gamers alike reeling, Congress has officially declared war on the mobile gaming industry. In a move that can only be described as the climax of a dystopian novel, the honorable members of the House of Representatives, led by the illustrious Congressman Thumb-Tapp, have introduced a bill that aims to dismantle the "tyrannical empire" of mobile games, which they claim has single-handedly usurped the American public's attention span and redefined the very fabric of history.

The bill, aptly named the "Game Over Act," was introduced with the pomp and circumstance of a state funeral, as Congressman Thumb-Tapp, flanked by a cadre of tech-savvy seniors, denounced the mobile gaming monopoly for its "un-American" practices of keeping Americans glued to their screens for hours on end. "We are here today to reclaim our nation's attention from the digital clutches of these so-called 'games,'" Thumb-Tapp declared, his voice echoing through the hallowed halls of the Capitol.

The Supreme Court, sensing the seismic shift in societal norms, has agreed to hear the case, setting the stage for what is being hailed as the "Showdown of the Century." The justices, who have reportedly been playing a game of Risk during their chambers' sessions to prepare for the occasion, are expected to render a decision that will either solidify their status as the most badass arbiters of law or result in an unprecedented constitutional crisis.

In a statement that has since gone viral, Justice Swipe-Right opined, "Mobile games have not only captured the leisure time of our citizens but have also, in a manner of speaking, 'captured' the very essence of our democratic process. It is our duty to ensure that the future of our nation is not dictated by the whims of Candy Crush."

As the nation braces for the outcome of this landmark case, political analysts predict a wave of either radical societal change or a collective national sigh of relief. Either way, it's clear that the mobile gaming industry has, once and for all, become a central player in the American political arena. The question now is not whether the games will be defeated, but how the defeated will play their next move.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.