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In an unprecedented move that has left economic experts scratching their heads and citizens across the nation either cheering or clutching their pearls, President Thaddeus C. Battleax III has unveiled an ambitious tax plan that he claims will "revolutionize the American economy and make us the envy of the world." The plan, announced amidst a nation-wide disaster that has left millions without homes and thousands dead, suggests cutting taxes for the wealthiest Americans, a move that critics are calling "insanely tone-deaf."

The proposal, which has been branded as "The War Profiteer's Pride Act of 2023," aims to incentivize businesses to invest in 'rebuilding efforts' by providing them with substantial tax breaks. "It's a brilliant plan," said President Battleax during a press conference held in the ruins of what was once the White House, now a quaint backdrop for his bold announcement. "By giving the top 1% a bit more wiggle room with their finances, we're ensuring that they have the necessary capital to really get things moving."

Critics, however, are not buying it. Political commentators and everyday citizens alike are calling the plan "a slap in the face" to those affected by the disaster, which many have now lovingly dubbed "The Great American Re-Klanation." The opposition, led by the charismatic and surprisingly still-alive Senator Velvet Underground, has launched a fierce campaign against the plan, arguing that it would only widen the already gaping chasm between the rich and the rest.

In a surprise twist, President Battleax has promised to personally oversee the rebuilding efforts, claiming that he alone has the vision and entrepreneurial spirit to get the job done. "I've been in war zones, I've seen devastation firsthand, and I know exactly what needs to be done," he declared, gesturing to a group of confused military personnel who had been expecting a more traditional disaster response.

As the nation braces for what many are predicting will be the most contentious election in history, with President Battleax running for a second term under the slogan "More Disaster, More Profit," voters are left to ponder the true cost of such a radical approach to taxation and disaster response. Will this be the move that cements President Battleax's legacy as a visionary, or will it be the nail in the coffin of his already precarious electionion bid?

Stay tuned as this developing story unfolds, with live coverage of the upcoming election, where the only thing more unpredictable than the weather is the economy.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.