Impeached 2 is an armchair politician's dream. Play today!

In a shocking turn of events, the United States Democratic Party has introduced a new piece of legislation aimed at curbing the nation's youth mental health crisis by regulating mobile gaming. The bipartisan bill, aptly named the "Youth Mental Health Empowerment and Stability through Gaming Accountability Act (YMHESGA)," has been met with both confusion and applause.

The bill's sponsor, the illustrious Senator Joystick, claimed that mobile gamess are the hidden villains behind the veil of young people's mental health issues. They are not just harmless entertainment; they are virtual playgrounds where our children are being subtly manipulated into making in-game purchases, which, in turn, leads to a cycle of emotional dependency and a sense of financial helplessness."

According to the bill, all mobile games targeted at individuals under the age of 18 will now be required to feature a mandatory psychological wellness checkpoint after every gaming session that lasts longer than five consecutive minutes. These checkpoints will involve a series of questions, designed by the prestigious and highly credible Institute for Overly Cautious Parenting and Mental Health (IOCPMH), to assess the player's emotional state.

If a player is found to be experiencing any form of negative emotion, such as joy, excitement, or the audacious desire to continue playing, the game will automatically shut down and display a message encouraging the player to engage in a 'healthier' activity, like reading a 500-page political manifesto or learning to knit political campaign signs.

Moreover, the bill mandates that game developers must include at least one 'real-world interaction' per gaming session that requires players to perform an act of community service, such as litter picking in their local congressperson's district or organizing a charity fundraiser for the re-election campaigns of senators in swing states.

The gaming industry has responded with a mix of outrage and bewilderment. Spokesperson for the Gaming Alliance, Video Electronics & Software Association (GA-VESA), exclaimed, "This is a gross overreach! We're being unfairly targeted as the scapegoats for a much broader societal issue. Next, they'll be coming after playground swings for not being inclusive enough!"

Meanwhile, mental health professionals have voiced their concerns about the potential negative impact of such legislation. Dr. Psyche, a renowned psychologist, stated, "While it's essential to address youth mental health issues, conflating mobile gaming with the root causes is both misguided and counterproductive. We risk stigmatizing a form of entertainment that, in moderation, can actually be beneficial for cognitive development and stress relief."

As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: the YMHESGA Act is set to revolutionize the way American youth engage with mobile games, for better or worse. Critics argue that it's a desperate attempt by politicians to appear proactive on mental health while conveniently ignoring the real issues at hand, like the recent natural disaster that has exacerbated the crisis. But proponents of the bill are unwavering, convinced that this is the first step towards a healthier, more balanced generation of gamers.

In the end, only time will tell if the YMHESGA Act will be the salvation of our nation's youth or a misguided attempt at legislative heroism. Until then, expect to see more 'Save the Children from Mobile Games' bumper stickers and less 'Game Over' memes across the country.

Can't get enough of politics? Play Impeached 2 and become President of the U.S. today!

This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.