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In a shocking turn of events, the United States Senate erupted into a frenzy of debate this week over a novel concept proposed by an unnamed senator: should the political strategy of a party take precedence over the personal freedoms of an individual when said individual has been impeached? The proposal, which has sent shockwaves through the halls of Capitol Hill, suggests that once a senator has been impeached, their freedom should be subordinated to the greater good of the party's legislative agenda.

The senator, known only as "Patriot Pete," argued passionately that the impeached individual has, by virtue of their indictment, forfeited their right to the personal liberties afforded to every other citizen. "When you're impeached, you're not just any citizen; you're a symbol, a cautionary tale," Pete declared, his voice echoing through the chamber. "Your freedom, while still technically in tact, should be placed under a micro-managerial watch to ensure it doesn't interfere with our noble quest for legislative dominance."

The opposition, led by the charismatic "Liberty Lisa," was quick to denounce the proposal. "This is a slippery slope towards tyranny," she exclaimed, her eyes ablaze with righteous indignation. "Once we start trading personal freedoms for political gains, where do we draw the line? Next thing you know, we'll be living in a society where the majority dictates the rights of the individual!"

The debate became even more heated when "Strategist Sam," a close advisor to the Majority Leader, took the floor. "Lisa, my dear, you're missing the point entirely. This isn't about rights; it's about effectiveness. If we can keep an impeached individual under our thumb, we can ensure that our policies are never compromised by their... let's call it 'unpredictability.'"

The Senate remains deeply divided over the issue, with neither side willing to back down. Meanwhile, the impeached individual, "Scandal Mike," has been mysteriously silent throughout the whole ordeal. Insiders speculate that Mike is enjoying his newfound status as a political pawn, basking in the attention and relishing the opportunity to play a central role in one of the most contentious debates of the decade.

As the Senate grapples with the implications of prioritizing political strategy over personal freedom, the American public watches with bated breath, wondering if this is the new normal in the age of impeachment. Stay tuned as this story develops, and remember: in the theater of politics, not all heroes wear capes. Some just wear the figurative chains of their own self-imposed servitude.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.