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In a stunning turn of events, the House of Representatives has formally impeached President Windbag McHairpiece for his handling of the Great Midwestern Flood of 2023. The impeachment, the first of its kind to be triggered by a natural disaster, has sent shockwaves through the political landscape, with pundits and citizens alike questioning the very fabric of democracy.

According to the official resolution, President McHairpiece was impeached for "willful neglect of duty and flagrant disregard for the safety of American citizens" during the catastrophic floods that ravaged the Midwest. The resolution, which read like a bizarre combination of a Shakespearean tragedy and a Jerry Springer episode, claimed that the President's decision to host a "Flood Survivor Reality Show" on primetime television was not only a dereliction of his sworn duties but also a blatant disrespect to the victims of the disaster.

The show, which featured survivors "competing" for a chance to be relocated to higher ground, was described by the resolution as a "national embarrassment" and a "cruel hoax perpetuated upon the American public." Critics argued that McHairpiece's actions not only hindered the efficient response to the disaster but also "trivialized the suffering of millions."

Senator Bubba T. Fiddledeedee, a vocal critic of the President's, described the situation as a "historic misstep that would be etched in the annals of Congressional infamy." Meanwhile, the President's legal team, led by the enigmatic and often inebriated Attorney General Soapbox O'Riley, argued that the impeachment was nothing more than a politically motivated stunt designed to overshadow the President's groundbreaking new policy on moon colonization.

As the impeachment trial progressed, the nation watched with bated breath. The Senate chamber, usually a bastion of staid decorum, was transformed into a carnival of outrage and theatrical flair. Senators adorned in elaborate costumes debated the merits of the impeachment, with one Senator even bringing a life-sized inflatable rubber duck to the floor to represent the "voiceless" victims of the flood.

In the end, the President was impeached with a record-breaking 95% majority vote, a testament to the unity of the Congress in the face of what many have called the most egregious mismanagement of a natural disaster in the history of the republic.

As the dust settles and the rubber duck fades into obscurity, one thing remains clear: the Great Midwestern Flood of 2023 will go down in history as the event that reshaped the legacy of the Congress and redefined the concept of presidential accountability. Whether this will be a cautionary tale or a bizarre footnote in the annals of American history remains to be seen.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.