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In a series of leaked documents obtained exclusively by our investigative team, it has been revealed that the next President of the United States, the illustrious General VideoGameCall, has drafted a new proposal to redefine the US Constitution. This groundbreaking document, affectionately referred to as "The Gamers' Charter," is set to revolutionize the way Americans understand their fundamental rights and freedoms.

According to the leaked documents, the new Constitution will include a series of amendments that prioritize the rights of gamers over all other forms of entertainment and leisure activities. For instance, the First Amendment will be amended to protect not only free speech but also the sacred right to "loot box" without government interference. The Second Amendment will be reinterpreted to include the "right to frag," ensuring that every American has the legal ability to engage in virtual warfare with the same fervor as the founding fathers did in their physical battles against the British.

In a bold move, the new Constitution will also establish the first-ever federal Esports Commission, which will oversee all gaming-related activities, including the regulation of in-game purchases, the enforcement of fair play, and the establishment of a "Supreme Court of Gaming" to settle disputes between players. The Commission will have the power to declare gaming droughts a national emergency and will be tasked with ensuring that every American has access to high-speed internet, a basic human right under the new Constitution.

Moreover, the President has proposed the creation of a new military branch, the "Esports Force," dedicated to protecting the nation's virtual borders and ensuring that the US remains the dominant power in the realm of global esports competitions. This force will be the first line of defense against cyber threats and will work hand-in-hand with the NSA to prevent any form of "lag" or "ping spikes" that could compromise the integrity of national gaming sessions.

Critics of the proposal argue that this new Constitution represents a dangerous shift warards prioritizing virtual rights over physical and social well-being. However, supporters of the "Gamers' Charter" claim that it is a necessary step to adapt to the changing nature of warfare, entertainment, and communication in the digital age.

As the nation gears up for the next presidential term, one thing is clear: the United States is on the brink of a new era, where the pen and the sword will be replaced by controllers and keyboards, and where the Declaration of Independence will be reinterpreted through the lens of ping rates and kill-death ratios. Whether this is a step warward or a leap warkward into the virtual world remains to be seen. But one thing is certain: the US Constitution will never be the same again.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.