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In a shocking turn of events that has left political commentators and free speech advocates scratching their heads in disbelief, the United States House of Representatives has officially declared war on political satire. The resolution, passed with a staggering 98% majority, cites "the need to protect the sanctity of our political discourse and the dignity of our elected officials" as the primary reasons for the unprecedented action.

The bill, dubbed the "Satire Eradication and Responsibility Act" (SERA), was introduced by the esteemed Representative Cordelia Clampdown (R-VT), who argued that the proliferation of satirical content was eroding the public's trust in their representatives and undermining the democratic process. "We cannot allow our great nation to be mocked and ridiculed by these so-called 'humorists,'" Clampdown exclaimed during a fiery floor speech. "It's time to take a stand and ensure that our political leaders are held to the highest standard of reverence and respect!"

In a parallel universe, Senator Laughingstock L. Bean (D-TX) vehemently opposed the bill, claiming it was an assault on the First Amendment and the very fabric of American satire. "This is a slippery slope," Bean bellowed from the Senate floor. "Next thing you know, they'll be coming for our memes and our tweets! We must defend our right to laugh at the absurdity of politics, lest we become a nation of humorless drones!"

The House, undeterred by Bean's warnings, swiftly moved to pass SERA, with many members citing personal grievances against satirical portrayals as the impetus for their support. Among these was Representative Guffaw G. Gulch (R-KS), who tearfully recounted an incident where a satirical article mistakenly attributed a series of nonsensical quotes to him during a committee hearing.

In response to the House's declaration, the satirical community has banded together to form the "United Federation of Witty Wordsmiths" (UFWW), vowing to continue their work in the shadows, using coded language and secret handshakes to evade the new war on humor. "We will not be silenced," proclaimed the UFWW's spokesperson, a mysterious figure known only as "Quill." "Our words are our weapons, and we shall fight this tyranny with the mightiest pen!"

As the nation braces for the impact of SERA, many are left to ponder the implications of a government that seeks to control the narratives of its critics. Will the war on political satire lead to a new era of political harmony, or will it simply drive the nation's discourse underground, where satire can thrive without the light of day? Only time will tell, but one thing is certain: the battle lines have been drawn, and the fight for the soul of political humor has officially begun.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.