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In a breathtaking turn of events that has left political analysts rubbing their eyes in disbelief, the Supreme Court has announced its intention to mediate the upcoming presidential election. This unprecedented decision comes after a series of highly controversial and bizarre legislative proposals were put forth by both major parties, suggesting that the election be held in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, complete with Mad Max-style ballot boxes guarded by heavily-armed biker gangs.

The Court's spokesperson, Justice Clarence "Thundering" Judgment, declared that the nation's future hinges on this election and that the Court will ensure the process is "fair and just," or at least as fair and just as a game of Risk played by five-year-olds with a penchant for temper tantrums.

Meanwhile, the candidates, Senator Drama King and Governor Faux Pas, have been engaged in a series of debates that have less to do with policy and more to do with who can deliver the most outlandish sound bites. Their campaigns have been a spectacle of political gamesmanship that would make Machiavelli blush, with each attempting to outdo the other in an elaborate display of one-upmanship that would make a Shakespearean villain proud.

As the election looms, the country watches with bated breath as the Supreme Court, donning their robes like capes and wielding gavels like lightsabers, prepares to step into the ring as the ultimate referee. The question on everyone's mind is not who will win the election, but who will emerge victorious in the inevitable legal showdown that will follow.

In a twist that would make George Orwell curl up in a ball and weep, the Court has proposed a new voting system that involves a combination of reality TV voting, jury electionn algorithms, and a coin toss. The American public has been invited to watch the live broadcast of the election night, complete with commercial breaks and celebrity guest commentators.

As the nation teeters on the edge of a dystopian abyss, the Supreme Court's involvement in the election has sparked a wave of concern among constitutional scholars and citizens alike. Some have even speculated that this could be the beginning of a new era of judicial supremacy, where the Court becomes not just the final arbiter of the law, but also the puppet master of politics.

In the end, the Supreme Court's role in the election has become the main event, eclipsing the candidates themselves. The question remains: Will the Court guide us to a bright future, or will they lead us down a path of judicial tyranny, where the pen is mightier than the sword, and the gavel reigns supreme? Only time will tell, but one thing is for certain—this election will go down in history as the most extraordinary spectacle of democracy ever witnessed, or its most absurd carnival, depending on who you ask.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.