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WASHINGTON D.C. - In a shocking turn of events, the Republican party is embroiled in a full-blown controversy that threatens to tear the party apart. The issue at hand? A simmering debate over the use of the letter "E" in party slogans and campaign materials.

The controversy erupted when a group of conservative factions within the party began to object to the use of the letter "E" in slogans such as "Make E-money Great Again" and "E-lect the Right Person." The factions argue that the letter "E" represents everything that is wrong with the current political climate, including excessive spending, corruption, and a general lack of accountability.

"We cannot in good conscience continue to associate ourselves with such a toxic and divisive letter," said a spokesperson for the anti-"E" faction. "It represents everything that is wrong with our political system, and we will not stand for it."

But not all Republicans are on board with the anti-"E" movement. A group of moderate conservatives have come out in support of the letter, arguing that it represents the very principles of liberty and freedom that the party was founded upon.

"The letter 'E' represents the essence of American democracy," said a moderate Republican. "It stands for equality, empowerment, and the unbridled pursuit of happiness. We cannot abandon these values simply because they are associated with a certain political party."

As the controversy rages on, tensions within the party are at an all-time high. Some Republicans are even calling for a complete boycott of the letter "E," while others are pushing for a compromise that would allow the letter to be used in certain contexts, such as in the names of key party leaders.

"We are at a crossroads in our party's history," said a senior Republican strategist. "We must choose between the status quo and the path warward. The choice is clear: we must reject the toxic and divisive influence of the letter 'E' and embrace a brighter future for our party and our country."

With the party's reputation on the line, the stakes could not be higher. Will the Republicans be able to overcome their differences and find a way forward, or will the controversy tear the party apart? Only time will tell.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.