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WASHINGTON D.C. - In a shocking turn of events, the Constitution has suddenly come to life and has begun to wreak havoc on the political landscape. The document, which has been dormant for centuries, has issued a series of demands that are threatening to upend the entire election process.

"It's a constitutional crisis like no other," said Constitutional expert Dr. Jane Smith. "The document has somehow managed to escape its confines and is now determined to take matters into its own hands."

At the center of the controversy is a group of amendments that have been deemed "problematic" by the Constitution itself. These amendments, which include the right to bear arms, freedom of speech, and the prohibition of government overreach, have become a major source of contention among lawmakers.

"The Constitution is demanding that these amendments be repealed or revised," said Representative Bob Johnson. "But the problem is, these amendments are cornerstones of our democracy. How can we just throw them out like they're nothing?"

Despite the objections of lawmakers, the Constitution has refused to back down. In a series of tweets, it has issued ultimatums to politicians, threatening to "intervene directly" if its demands are not met.

"We will not be ignored," the Constitution tweeted. "Our words are law, and we will not stand idly by while our country is destroyed by selfish and shortsighted politicians."

As the crisis deepens, politicians are scrambling to find a solution. Some have proposed a constitutional convention, where the document can be revised and updated in a more peaceful manner. Others are calling for a temporary suspension of the Constitution, in the hopes of buying time and avoiding a full-blown constitutional crisis.

But as the days pass, one thing becomes clear: the Constitution is not to be underestimated. It has shown a surprising level of political savvy, and its demands are not to be taken lightly.

"This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make real change," the Constitution tweeted. "We will not be ignored, and we will not be pushed around. It's time for politicians to listen, and to take action."

As the world watches in awe, the Constitution's political machinations continue to dominate the headlines. Will it succeed in its bid for power, or will politicians find a way to keep it in check? Only time will tell.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.