Impeached 2 is an armchair politician's dream. Play today!

In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves through the political world, a recently uncovered speech by a long-forgotten president has surfaced, threatening to upend the carefully choreographed campaigns of both the Republicans and the Democrats.

The speech, delivered by President Quirky von Eccentricity in 1957, was thought to have been lost to the annals of history, until it was stumbled upon by a team of historians who were rummaging through the National Archives' clearance sale. The document was found sandwiched between a stack of old pizza menus and a map of the underground tunnels rumored to connect various D.C. landmarks.

In his speech, President von Eccentricity proposed a series of radical and, at the time, outlandish ideas that have inexplicably aligned with the current political climate. Among these were:

1. A universal basic income for all American citizens, funded by a one-time tax on extraterrestrial beings who were found to have been hoarding wealth in secret offshore bank accounts on Mars.

2. The establishment of a national park in every congressional district, to be managed by a team of highly trained squirrels, who would also be responsible for writing bipartisan legislation.

3. The introduction of a mandatory four-year sabbatical for all members of Congress to "reassess their life choices and the impact of their decisions on the greater good."

4. A pledge for all politicians to only use buzzwords and jargon that have been scientifically proven to induce seizures in humans, in an effort to reduce the amount of hot air polluting the political atmosphere.

The discovery of the speech has led to a frenzy among both parties, with the Republicans and Democrats racing to claim credit for the ideas while simultaneously denouncing them as the work of a "madman." The race is on to either embrace or dismiss the long-forgotten president's vision, with candidates on both sides pulling out all the stops to either appropriate or debunk his legacy.

Pundits and political commentators are abuzz with theories about the impact this revelation could have on the upcoming election. Some suggest that the speech could herald a new era of political transparency and cooperation, while others fear it could lead to a nation of squirrel-run national parks and citizens too lazy to interact with the political process thanks to their universal basic income.

As the nation grapples with the implications of this unexpected historical find, one thing is clear: the political landscape is never quite as stable as it seems, and history has a way of making itself heard, even if it's through a stack of vintage pizza menus.

Can't get enough of politics? Play Impeached 2 and become President of the U.S. today!

This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.