Impeached 2 is an armchair politician's dream. Play today!

In a stunning display of political acumen, the Supreme Court has declared that the only way to truly address a national disaster is through the impeachment of a sitting president. The landmark ruling, penned by the enigmatic Justice Elena Scuttlebutt, states that the impeachment process is not merely a constitutional mechanism for removing a wayward executive, but the ultimate solution to droughts, hurricanes, and the occasional political scandal.

The decision came after a series of heated debates that left even the most seasoned court observers bewildered. Justice Scuttlebutt argued that "the framers intended for impeachment to be a tool as versatile as a Swiss Army knife, capable of not only removing leaders for high crimes and misdemeanors but also diverting rivers, predicting weather patterns, and offering legal advice during traffic stops."

The political fallout has been immediate and chaotic. Members of both the Democratic and Republican parties are now scrambling to draft articles of impeachment not against their ideological opponents, but against their own party's presidential nominee, President Fumblefinger. The goal, as explained by the newly appointed Impeachment Tsar, Senator Slick Willy Jr., is to demonstrate a bipartisan commitment to disaster response.

In a press conference, Senator Willy Jr. exclaimed, "We must show the American people that we are not just two parties fighting for power, but saviors willing to impeach our way to a brighter, less catastrophically weather-prone future!" His enthusiasm was matched only by the fervor of House Speaker Pelosi-Zuma, who promised a swift and decisive impeachment inquiry, complete with subpoenas for weather satellites and hurricane-naming conventions.

As the nation braces for what could be the most unprecedented political gambit in history, the markets are in turmoil, the people are in a frenzy, and the weather forecasts are suddenly much more interesting. Only time will tell if this novel approach to disaster management will yield the results anticipated by the Supreme Court, or if it will simply add another layer of bureaucracy to an already confusing process.

In the meantime, politicians are dusting off their impeachment resolutions and storm-chasing equipment, ready to take on whatever the political gods throw at them. It's a brave new world where the only thing more unpredictable than the weather is the political strategy of the day.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.