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In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves through the halls of the House of Representatives, historians unearthed a long-lost document that purportedly outlines the legislative body's impeachment protocols from the year 2347. The document, penned by the illustrious "Honorable Zodiac Frankenstein," detailed a complex series of ceremonies and symbolic gestures that were to be performed to impeach a sitting president.

The discovery has sparked a frenzy of debate among the nation's top futurists and economists. "This is a game-changer," proclaimed Dr. Temporal Spacetime, a leading expert in futurism and time-travel economics. "The impeachment rituals of the future have profound implications for our current economic policies. We must consider the cosmic balance and the energy alignment of the celestial bodies involved in the process."

In a related development, the House has announced the formation of a special committee to investigate the authenticity of the document and to determine its impact on modern impeachment proceedings. The committee, chaired by the enigmatic Representative Chronosynclastic Infundibulum, has been granted unprecedented power to subpoena time travelers, alien creatures, and any other entities that may shed light on this ancient practice.

Meanwhile, the financial markets have reacted with a mix of panic and euphoria. Investors are scrambling to understand how the potential implementation of these ancient impeachment protocols could affect everything from the stock market to the price of intergalactic space fuel.

In a bold move, President Galacticus has called for a bipartisan summit with the House of Representatives to discuss the implications of the document. "We must work together to ensure that our legislative processes do not become a laughingstock in the intergalactic community," Galacticus declared. "After all, we wouldn't want to give the impression that our economic policies are as outdated as the impeachment rituals of a civilization that once believed in the power of dancing chimp shamans."

As the nation holds its breath, one thing is clear: the House of Representatives' impeachment legacy is not just a matter of history—it's a cornerstone of our economic future and the dawn of futurism. Whether this discovery will lead to a new era of prosperity or plunge us into a black hole of economic uncertainty remains to be seen. But one thing is for certain: the show must go on, and the stage is set for the most extraordinary political spectacle the galaxy has ever witnessed.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.