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In a turn of events so bizarre that even the most far-out science fiction authors are scratching their heads in disbelief, the future of futurism hangs precariously in the balance. It all started when a faction of Republicans, known as the Constitutionn-Averse Conservatives" (CAC), decided that the ancient parchment they swear to uphold was somehow outdated and in need of a modern makeover.

Leading the charge was none other than Senator Betsy Underwood, a political maverick who believes that the Constitution, drafted over two centuries ago, is simply too "last millennium" to address the pressing issues of our digital age. Her proposed amendment, which would allow for the unlimited surveillance of American citizens by the government, under the guise of "national security," was met with a mix of horrified outrage and enthusiastic nods from her fellow CAC members.

The move has sparked a rift so wide that it could swallow the Grand Canyon whole. On one side, we have the "Parchment Purists," a group of die-hard constitutionalists who view the document as the cornerstone of American democracy. On the other, the CAC, who seem to view the Constitution as little more than a quaint artifact, ripe for a Kickstarter remodel.

The situation escalated when President Tweedledee, a man known more for his tweets than his political acumen, publicly endorsed Underwood's amendment. "We need to keep our citizens safe," he tweeted, "and sometimes that means giving up a little privacy. Besides, the Constitution is so 1787. It's time for an upgrade!"

But the public was not amused. Protests erupted across the nation, with citizens donning colonial attire and carrying placards emblazoned with the famous phrase, "Don't Tread on Me." However, the CAC's response was to call for a "TechTastic Rally," where drones would fly overhead, disseminating pro-amendment propaganda.

The irony was not lost on the populace. As the rally commenced, a rogue drone, presumably acting on its own volition, began to shower the crowd with confetti shaped like the Bill of Rights. The surreal scene was captured by every major news outlet and quickly went viral, cementing the hashtag #DroneBillOfRights as a Twitter sensation.

In the end, the futurism community, once a beacon of hope for progress, finds itself in the unfamiliar role of defender of the Constitution. As the nation watches with bated breath, it remains to be seen whether the CAC's mission to modernize democracy will lead to a brave new world or plunge us into a dystopian nightmare straight out of a poorly written novel.

In the meantime, futurists are busy rewriting the sci-fi genre to include scenarios where robots rebel against their human masters, not because they want to take over the world, but because they're tired of being used to spy on their creators. It's a brave new world, indeed.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.