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In an unprecedented twist of events, the latest impeachment inquiry into President Fubar Trumpet's alleged economic misdeeds has thrown the nation's political landscape into a tailspin that economists are calling "The Impeachment Quake." The seismic shifts in the political tectonics have not only rattled the foundations of the upcoming presidential election but have also sent the stock market into a frenzy of speculative trading, with the Dow Jones Industrial Average fluctuating wildly between record highs and new abysses every time a new piece of evidence is leaked.

The impeachment saga, which began with a whistleblower's complaint about President Trumpet's clandestine economic negotiations with the ghost of Adam Smith, has since evolved into a plot thicker than a Washington swamp stew. According to the whistleblower, President Trumpet engaged in a series of under-the-table transactions with the Boogeyman Bank, a shadowy financial institution rumored to be backed by the ghost of John D. Rockefeller.

The allegations are grave. They suggest that President Trumpet's economic policies may have been less about fiscal responsibility and more about securing a golden parachute for his post-presidency life, complete with a private island in the Pacific Ocean shaped like a giant dollar sign. The revelation has led to a flurry of legislative activity, with Congress hastily drafting the "No Presidents Allowed" act, which would ban any sitting president from engaging in personal economic deals.

However, the true impact of this impeachment inquiry is being felt in the hearts and wallets of the American people. Consumer confidence has plummeted faster than a lead balloon, with shoppers opting to hoard canned goods and bottled water instead of spending on the upcoming holiday season. The automotive industry has seen a surge in sales of apocalyptic-themed vehicles, such as the Armageddon Armored Truck and the End Times Escalade, as citizens brace for an economic Armageddon.

Meanwhile, the candidates for the 2020 presidential election are scrambling to capitalize on the public's economic angst. Democratic Hopeful Joe Average-Joe has promised a New Deal for a New Decade, while Republican Front Runner Lazy-Eye Lawmaker has pledged to "Make the Market Great Again" with his signature policy of "Trickle-Down Tumbling."

As the impeachment inquiry continues to unfold, economists and political pundits are split on the outcome. Some predict that a successful impeachment could lead to a period of stability and renewed trust in the government, while others believe it could lead to a full-blown economic meltdown, with the stock market crashing like a poorly-constructed house of cards during a hurricane.

In the midst of this turmoil, one thing is clear: the upcoming presidential election will not only decide the fate of the nation but also the health of the global economy. As the world watches with bated breath, the only certainty is that the political and economic landscape will never be the same again. Strap in, folks; it's going to be a bumpy ride.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.