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In a shocking turn of events that has left political pundits and scientists alike aghast, it has come to light that the recently impeached President OvalFinger has been secretly engaging in high-level gaming that may just rewrite the laws of science. The gaming sessions, which reportedly lasted up to 12 hours at a stretch, were conducted on an undisclosed supercomputer rumored to be powered by the country's entire supply of ethically sourced panda bear energy drinks.

Sources close to the President have revealed that during these marathon gaming sessions, President OvalFinger not only beat the infamous 'No-Scope' challenge on the ultra-hardcore 'Warzone: Ultimate Edition' but also discovered a potential cure for the common cold while dodging bullets and avoiding grenades. The cure, which OvalFinger has humorously dubbed "SniffleStopper-3000," is said to be a combination of advanced nanotechnology, inherited political immunity, and a pinch of virtual reality dust.

The scientific community is now in a frenzy, with researchers trying to replicate the conditions of President OvalFinger's gaming environment. However, attempts to recreate the exact conditions have proven futile, as the supercomputer's specific processor that supposedly synthesizes quantum leaps and political strategic geniuses has been MIA since the President's impeachment.

The White House has yet to comment on whether the gaming sessions were an official part of the President's duties, but conspiracy theorists are having a field day speculating that the entire impeachment was a plot to protect the secret of the 'SniffleStopper-3000' from falling into the wrong hands. Meanwhile, in an unexpected move, the opposition party has called for a joint committee to investigate the potential implications of video games on national security and public health.

As the nation grapples with the revelation of President OvalFinger's dual life as a gaming virtuoso and potential accidental science prodigy, one thing is clear: politics and science will never be the same again.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.