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In a stunning exposé that has sent shockwaves through the hallowed halls of the Capitol, our investigative team has uncovered a tax loophole so massive, it could swallow the national debt whole and still have room for lobbyists' limousines. The loophole, cleverly disguised as a "scientific research initiative," allows Big Corp to claim research credits for studies on the effects of air conditioning on potato chips.

The House of Representatives, a body known for its rock-solid dedication to fiscal responsibility and scientific integrity, has been rocked by allegations that they are the ones pushing for this absurd expenditure. Insiders claim that the President himself has been personally lobbying for this "research," which many are calling the most egregious example of corruption since the Great Spoon Fiasco of 2020.

The President, who has been known to prefer his potato chips at a crisp 70 degrees Fahrenheit, allegedly argued that understanding the interaction between air conditioning and snack food stability is of utmost national importance. "It's all about keeping America's potato chip supply safe and sound, no matter the cost," the President was overheard saying at a clandestine White House potato chip tasting.

Experts in the field of snack-based science have been baffled by the President's push for such an endeavor. "I mean, sure, temperature can affect the shelf life of snacks, but are we really going to allocate billions in tax credits for this?" said Dr. Nancy Chipstead, a leading expert in Snackonomics. "I thought we were funding research on more pressing matters, like why people can't stop buying ranch dressing."

The revelation has led to an uproar on social media, with #ChipsAren'tRocketScience trending worldwide. Meanwhile, the House of Representatives has called an emergency session to address the loophole, which they claim they knew nothing about. "We are deeply troubled by these allegations and are committed to transparency and justice," said Speaker of the House Chip Crumbleton. "We assure the American people that this matter will be investigated thoroughly, and we will get to the bottom of this greasy situation."

As the nation waits with bated breath for the outcome of this scandal, one thing is clear: the relationship between politics and big business has reached new heights of... let's call it "seasoned" complexity. And if there's one thing that can bring people from all walks of life together, it's the shared realization that our elected officials might just be obsessed with the crunch of a perfectly crisped chip.

Can't get enough of politics? Play Impeached 2 and become President of the U.S. today!

This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.