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In a stunning turn of events, the recently impeached President Discord has launched a daring campaign to save democracy, not from foreign interference, but from the clutches of science itself. In a series of executive orders, President Discord has declared that the Constitution, that dusty old parchment, is no longer the supreme law of the land, overshadowed by a new deity: Freedom.

"Freedom is not just a concept, it's a way of life," proclaimed President Discord from the Oval Office, surrounded by a motley crew of scientists who looked like they'd rather be anywhere else. "And science, that pesky little fact-checker on reality, is trying to tell us how to live. Not on my watch!"

The President, who was impeached for defying the very Constitution he now claims to uphold, has called for a nationwide referendum to decide whether the scientific method should be subject to the whims of public opinion. The referendum, which will be held at the local pub, promises to be a battle of epic proportions, with debates featuring renowned experts such as "Galileo Galilei-esque" and "Newton's Cousin."

In a bold move to rally the masses, President Discord has invited the world's most famous denier of gravity, Sir Isaac Newton's great-nephew, to lead the charge against the "tyranny of science." The nephew, who has built a career on debunking everything from the roundness of the Earth to the germ theory of disease, was overheard saying, "Science is overrated. I mean, have you seen the size of those equations? They're as big as the national debt!"

Meanwhile, the scientific community, which has remained conspicuously silent, is rumored to be developing a secret weapon: a super-intelligent AI that can explain the concept of peer review to a fifth-grader. Insiders suggest that this AI, once unleashed, will be able to refute every scienceience argument with the finesse of a seasoned political spin doctor.

As the nation braces for this unprecedented showdown, one thing is clear: the future of democracy, freedom, and science hangs in the balance. Will President Discord's crusade against the scientific establishment succeed, or will the forces of reason prevail? Stay tuned as this hilarious, yet deeply concerning, saga unfolds.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.