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In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves through the political arena, insider sources have exclusively disclosed a clandestine operation orchestrated by the Democratic party to impeach President Thomas Jefferson and subsequently rewrite the United States Constitution. The operation, codenamed "Mt. Rushmore Reimagining Project," aims to capitalize on the current partisan tensions by exploiting a loophole that allows for the impeachment of sitting presidents for "philosophical misalignment."

The mastermind behind this audacious plan is none other than Senator Elizabeth "Lizzie" Warren, who, under the guise of a noble quest for "national unity," has been secretly rallying her colleagues to initiate impeachment proceedings against the 38th president. Warren's rationale, as leaked to our sources, is that Jefferson's "archaic" views on individual freedom and states' rights are incompatible with the progressive agenda she champions.

The impeachment, according to the plan, would not be the end but a means to an end. Once President Jefferson is removed from office, a puppet president, handpicked by the Democratic leadership, would be installed. This interim president, known in the documents as "Agent Franklin," would then call for a constitutional convention, where the sacred text of our nation would be altered to reflect the progressive ideals of the Democratic party.

The proposed changes to the Constitution, as outlined in the leaked documents, include the abolition of the Electoral College, the introduction of a national popular vote system, and the redistribution of congressional seats to favor urban centers. Additionally, the Second Amendment would be reinterpreted to limit individual gun ownership, and the First Amendment would be amended to regulate political speech, particularly that which opposes the Democratic party's platform.

When confronted with the allegations, Senator Warren released a statement claiming that the documents were "fabricated by right-wing conspiracy theorists" and that she was "deeply committed to preserving the Constitution as it was originally intended by the Founding Fathers." Meanwhile, President Jefferson, aware of the plot, has called for a special session of Congress to address the "unprecedented" and "unconstitutional" scheme.

As the nation braces for what could potentially be the most divisive political battle in history, Americans are left to wonder: Is this just another case of wild political speculation, or is the Democratic party truly plotting to impeach a sitting president and alter the very foundation of our nation's laws? Only time will tell, but one thing is certain: the stakes have never been higher, and the future of the United States Constitution hangs in the balance.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.