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In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves through the political establishment, a clandestine agreement between members of Congress has come to light. The pact, which was brokered under the cover of a tax reform bill, has now been exposed as a nefarious plot to legalize deep-rooted systemic corruption.

The bill, cleverly named the "American Tax Integrity and Fairness Act" (ATIFA), was initially hailed as a groundbreaking piece of legislation that would simplify the tax code and provide much-needed relief to the middle class. However, a team of intrepid investigative reporters from the "Capital Whispers" has uncovered evidence that the real intention behind ATIFA is far more sinister.

According to leaked documents, the bill includes a little-known section that allows for the creation of a new class of Congresssional Tax Exempt Entities" (CTEEs). These entities, which can only be established by sitting members of Congress, are granted immunity from all forms of taxation, as well as the authority to regulate their own financial dealings without oversight.

But it gets even more scandalous. The documents reveal that CTEEs are not just tax havens for lawmakers; they are also a cover for a burgeoning black market in scientific breakthroughs. Yes, you heard that right. The same Congress that has repeatedly slashed funding for scientific research has now created a marketplace for the exchange of cutting-edge scientific discoveries, all under the guise of tax reform.

The implications are staggering. With the ability to claim exclusive rights to scientific innovations, members of Congress can now dictate which technologies see the light of day and which are suppressed. This newfound power has already led to a surge in speculative trading of patents among CTEEs, with prices reaching astronomical figures.

The implications for democracy are dire. As the CTEEs grow in power and influence, they threaten to become a new ruling class, untouchable by the law and insulated from the public's will. The once-noble institution of Congress has been transformed into a den of thieves, where the pursuit of personal wealth and power overshadows the public good.

In a related development, a group of disgruntled scientists and taxpayers has banded together to demand the impeachment of the key lawmakers responsible for the ATIFA fiasco. They argue that the bill's passage would represent an unprecedented betrayal of the public trust and a blatant conflict of interest.

As the scandal continues to unfold, one thing is clear: the American people have been led down a garden path by empty promises and political double-speak. The question now is whether the public will awaken to the reality of the situation in time to save the heart of their democracy from being picked clean by the very individuals sworn to protect it.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.