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In a turn of events so bizarre it could only be described as the plot of a B-grade Hollywood movie, the United States has found itself at the heart of a constitutional crisis the likes of which have never been seen. The illustrious President Smirkington III, a man whose political career was as volatile as his combover, has been impeached in the middle of his re-election campaign, an event that has left the nation not only stunned but also clutching their pearls in utter horror.

The impeachment, which took place in the early hours of a Tuesday morning, when the average American was either wrestling with the snooze button or indulging in their fifth cup of coffee, was triggered by the startling discovery that President Smirkington III had been secretly filming a reality TV show entitled "The Oval Office" without the knowledge of the American public. The show, which promised to be "raw, unfiltered, and more scandalous than the last season of 'Game of Thrones'", was to feature never-before-seen interactions between the President and his international counterparts, as well as the inner workings of the White House, complete with an exclusive look at the presidential bathroom routine.

The revelation sent shockwaves through the political landscape, causing an immediate and public outcry. The Constitution, which until this point had been gathering dust in the National Archives, was dusted off and brandished like a shield by the Congressional members who were suddenly discovered to be constitutional scholars. The collective gasp that echoed through the Capitol could be heard over the murmurs of "treason" and "high crimes and misdemeanors."

In a desperate attempt to salvage the situation, President Smirkington III's legal team, led by the flamboyantly eccentric Lawrence Lawyer, argued that the impeachment was an infringement on the President's First Amendment rights to freedom of expression and reality television stardom. Meanwhile, the opposing counsel, with the steely determination of a villain from a 1980s action movie, retorted that the President's actions were a direct affront to the sanctity of the presidency and the privacy of the American people.

As the nation held its breath, waiting for the Supreme Court to intervene or perhaps spontaneously combust from the sheer volume of legal briefs being filed, the public was treated to a series of political theater performances that would make Shakespeare roll over in his grave. Protests erupted on both sides, with patriots wearing matching colonial outfits on one side and a group of individuals dressed as Roman gladiators on the other, brandishing cardboard swords and chanting for the blood of Senator Swordsworth, who had the audacity to suggest that the Constitution might, in fact, be a living document.

In a move that could only be described as the plot twist of the century, it was revealed that President Smirkington III's impeachment was not only a plot to boost his reality TV show ratings but also an elaborate scheme to distract the public from the fact that he had accidentally sent a sensitive national security memo to a Nigerian prince who had been posing as a lobbyist.

As the dust settles and the world waits with bated breath to see how this rollercoaster of a saga will end, one thing is certain: the 2020 election is going to be one for the history books. Whether it will be a tale of triumph or a cautionary example of the perils of political reality television, only time will tell.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.