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In an unparalleled turn of events, a top-secret document outlining President Orange-Hair's controversial war strategy has been leaked to the public, causing a frenzy of outrage among both Democrats and Republicans in the House of Representatives. The document, which was reportedly found hidden in the attic of the Lincoln Memorial by an intrepid squirrel, suggests a novel approach to international conflict resolution: a combination of Twitter diplomacy, reality TV show competitions, and a series of celebrity endorsements.

According to the document, President Orange-Hair, a known aficionado of reality TV, plans to resolve global tensions by pitting rival nations against each other in a series of challenges, akin to the popular show "Survivor." The grand prize? A peace treaty and the chance to host the next Olympics, a move sure to boost the nation's economy and international prestige.

In a shocking twist, the document also reveals that the President intends to enlist the help of Hollywood A-listers to sway public opinion and support for the initiative. The list of potential ambassadors includes names like "Brad Pitt-for-Peace" and "Angelina Jolie-Offensive," who are said to have expertise in international relations and a keen understanding of global conflicts, presumably gained from their extensive experience in divorce court.

The revelation has sparked a bipartisan uproar in the House, with representatives from both parties condemning the President's strategy as "foolhardy," "insulting," and "reminiscent of a bad sitcom." Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi-Stylishly has called an emergency session to discuss the matter, while Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell-Silently has issued a statement expressing his deep concern over the potential misuse of reality TV tropes in foreign policy.

Meanwhile, the Department of Defense has released a statement assuring the public that they have no knowledge of this strategy and are committed to traditional methods of conflict resolution, such as building larger and more expensive weapons.

As the nation grapples with this unprecedented proposal, many are left wondering if this is merely a brilliant piece of satire or a genuine plan that could potentially lead to world peace—or, more likely, a new reality TV sensation. Only time will tell if President Orange-Hair's gambit will be the most daring move in diplomatic history or the most spectacular blunder in political history. Stay tuned, America, because this reality show is just getting started.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.