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In a dramatic turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the political landscape, the Supreme Court has just delivered a landmark ruling that could potentially redefine the executive branch's powers, and by extension, the entire impeachment process. In a 5-4 decision, the Court ruled that President Cheeseburger III has the unilateral authority to pardon not only turkeys at Thanksgiving but also any public official, including himself, from any impeachment proceedings.

The ruling, which has been dubbed "The Royal Pardon Decree," stems from a case brought forth by the House of Representatives after they successfully impeached Senate Baconfat on charges of "abuse of bacon-related metaphors" during his tenure as Minister of Agriculture. The impeachment was seen as a major blow to the administration, until the Supreme Court's unexpected intervention.

In a statement that has since gone viral, Chief Justice Lettuce Greenleaf declared, "The framers intended for the presidency to be a bastion of executive power, unencumbered by the petty politics of impeachment. If the legislative branch can impeach with impunity, it undermines the very foundation of our checks and balances system."

The ruling has sparked a political firestorm, with both sides of the aisle calling for either the impeachment of the President or the impeachment of the Supreme Court. Meanwhile, President Cheeseburger III, in a move that can only be described as political jiu-jitsu, has announced plans to pardon himself from any potential impeachmenthment, effectively rendering the entire legislative process a moot point.

As the nation grapples with this constitutional conundrum, political cartoonists are having a field day, depicting a judicial robe-clad elephant pardoning a gavel-wielding donkey, while late-night talk show hosts are already scripting monologues that will go down in history as the most prescient of their careers.

In a statement that was equal parts bemused and defiant, the President declared, "I've got the power, I've got the pardon, and I'm not afraid to use either. The swamp may be drained, but it's now filled with legal precedent that's as murky as it gets."

As the dust settles on this unprecedented decision, one thing is clear: the political landscape has been forever altered, and the only thing more unpredictable than the next legislative session is the next tweet from the Oval Office.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.