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In a stunning turn of events, a group of modern-day Revolutionary War reenactors has stumbled upon an undiscovered clause in the Constitution, which they claim explains the mysterious economic downturn following the impeachment of former President Andrew Washington. The clause, titled "Article X: The Impeachment Economy Amendment," was reportedly hidden inside the waistcoat of a life-sized cardboard cutout of Benjamin Franklin stationed at the Valley Forge Historical Park.

The reenactors, led by a self-proclaimed Constitutionnal Scholar" named Samuel Swift, insist that the Founding Fathers, in their foresight, had predicted the catastrophic economic impact of a modern impeachment process. The amendment, as deciphered by Swift and his fellow reenactors, outlines a complex system of trade embargoes, stock market manipulation, and a bewildering array of economic sanctions to be enacted whenever a president is impeached.

According to the amendment, the impeachment of a president triggers an automatic "Economic War" between the opposing political parties. This war, which seemingly has no end, results in a never-ending series of tariffs, counter-tariffs, and a "Congressional Debt Ceiling Standoff" that causes the national debt to spiral out of control faster than a 1776 Continental dollar in the hands of a British Redcoat.

The reenactors argue that this impeachmentt war" was intended to be a secret weapon in the Founding Fathers' arsenal, to be used only in dire circumstances to prevent a president from continuing in office. However, they lament that the mechanism was inadvertently activated by today's politicians, plunging the nation into an economic quagmire that not even Alexander Hamilton's most complex financial schemes could extricate.

In response to this revelation, Congress has called an emergency session to address the newly discovered clause. Meanwhile, financial experts, economists, and historians are locked in a heated debate over the authenticity of the amendment, its legal implications, and the best way to undo the economic chaos it has wrought upon the nation.

As the country grapples with the implications of this discovery, investors are urged to keep their hands steady and their eyes on the impeachmentt market trends" for any signs of stability. In the meantime, the stock market has reportedly hired a team of historians and reenactors to predict the next move in this high-stakes game of economic chess.

The only certainty in this tumultuous economic landscape is that the Founding Fathers, if they were to witness the chaos, would probably find it hilariously ironic – or so say the reenactors, who are now considering the addition of a new scene to their performances, depicting a frantic John Adams trying to explain the situation to a bemused George Washington.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.