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In a shocking and unprecedented move that has sent shockwaves through the political spectrum, President LibertyBell has called for a revolutionary overhaul of the nation's economic policy, citing the Constitution as the cornerstone of this radical shift. In a late-night address from the Oval Office, the President, draped in a tricorn hat and a chest full of medals that seemed to date back to the American Revolution, declared that the time has come to "unshackle the chains of financial servitude and embrace the true spirit of liberty and prosperity."

The President's plan, which he has dubbed "The Great Economic Emancipation Act," promises to abolish all existing economic structures, including the Federal Reserve, the stock market, and cryptocurrencies, in favor of a new system based on the "purest form of barter and trade." According to the President, this will lead to a renaissance of American ingenuity and commerce, where citizens will trade their homemade goods and services without the interference of pesky inflation, interest rates, or the fluctuating whims of Wall Street.

In a bid to ensure the Constitution's central role in this economic upheaval, President LibertyBell has proposed the formation of a Constitutionnal Trade Commission," which will oversee the bartering system and enforce "fair trade" practices based on the founding fathers' original intent. The President has even gone as far as to suggest that a new amendment be added to the Constitution, granting every citizen the right to exchange chickens for hand-crafted artisanal furniture without government oversight.

Political pundits and economists alike are scratching their heads in disbelief, with some calling the President's proposal a "step back into the dark ages," while others hail it as a "bold vision for a post-monetary society." Meanwhile, the nation's farmers, artists, and bakers are said to be "over the moon" at the prospect of trading their goods on a level playing field, free from the manipulations of the "economic elite."

As the nation braces for what could be the most radical economic shift in history, President LibertyBell's approval ratings soar, with citizens praising his commitment to "returning America to its roots of freedom and self-reliance." The President, in his closing remarks, reminded the nation that "true freedom lies not in the accumulation of wealth, but in the ability to trade a goat for a loaf of sourdough without the heavy hand of government intervention."

In related news, the President has also proposed a new national holiday: "Barter and Trade Day," which will be celebrated annually on the fourth of July, a day traditionally marked by fireworks and the celebration of independence. This year, in honor of the new economic policy, the White House will reportedly host a massive yard sale, where the President himself will be seen haggling over the price of a vintage bicycle.

Stay tuned as this story develops, and remember, in the words of President LibertyBell, "The only thing we have to lose is our chains, and isn't that freedom?"

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.