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In an unprecedented turn of events, sources close to the Capitol Hill have revealed that a clandestine strategy game has been ongoing between a select group of high-ranking Republicans and influential tech lobbyists. This revelation comes amidst the ongoing debate over science policy, which has seen more dramatic twists and turns than the climax of a high-stakes game of Risk.

According to documents obtained by our undercover agents, the game, named "Politi-Tech Conquest," involves legislative maneuvers, public opinion manipulation, and the strategic placement of science policy to gain territorial advantage. The board? The United States Congress. The pieces? Our esteemed representatives and their tech industry counterparts.

The controversy ignited when a lobbyist, known only as "Silicon Sly," was caught using a secret "Tech Influence Card" to block a bill that would have regulated data privacy. The card, which supposedly grants the user the power to sway votes through a carefully orchestrated social media campaign, was confiscated by our agents before it could be played.

On the flip side, a Republican senator, affectionately dubbed "The Grandmaster," was observed using a "Gerrymander Knight" piece to divide scientific research funding among states, effectively disrupting the opposition's strategy. The senator later claimed it was all in the name of "optimizing resource allocation."

In response to the scandal, Congress has called for an emergency session to address the "serious allegations" and to determine whether the game has influenced policy decisions to the detriment of the American public. The session, scheduled for next week, will feature a dramatic recreation of the game's board, complete with miniature figures representing each lawmaker and lobbyist involved.

Meanwhile, the tech lobbyists have released a statement claiming that the game is merely a metaphor for their "innovative approach to legislative engagement" and that any resemblance to actual strategy games is purely coincidental.

The Republican Party has yet to comment on the situation, but insiders suggest that they are considering a new strategy that involves the integration of a "Bipartisan Bishop" piece to counteract the perceived "overreach" of their opponents.

As the nation watches, the unfolding drama promises to be more thrilling than any political thriller Hollywood could script. The only question left is: Who will emerge victorious in this high-stakes game of political chess? Only time will tell, but one thing is for certain—the American public is the real loser if their elected officials are playing strategy games with science policy.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.