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In an unexpected turn of events, President Meltdown has unveiled a new piece of legislation that has left political analysts and constitutional scholars scratching their heads in bewilderment. The bill, dubbed the "Full Disaster Response Act" (FD believably), grants the President sweeping powers to "restore order and freedom" in the aftermath of any major disaster, be it natural, economic, or of alien origin.

Under this act, President Meltdown will have the authority to suspend the Constitution, declare martial law, and even single-handedly decide what constitutes a disasterr" with no oversight or review. The act defines a disaster as "any event that significantly disrupts the normal functioning of society, as determined by the President, or his designated 'Disaster Czar,' who will be appointed from among his closest friends or family members."

In a press conference filled with dramatic pauses and grandiose gestures, President Meltdown assured the nation that this legislation was not a power grab, but rather a "proactive measure to ensure that the government can respond swiftly and decisively when our great nation is in peril." He went on to explain that in times of crisis, the traditional checks and balances could "get in the way of progress and recovery," and that his unilateral authority would "streamline the decision-making process."

Civil liberties groups have expressed outrage, calling the legislation a "blank check" that could lead to tyranny. One leading expert in constitutional law was overheard muttering, "This is the end of democracy as we know it!" while another was seen riding a unicorn through the National Mall to protest the bill.

When asked about the potential for abuse of power, President Meltdown's spokesperson, Press Secretary Bouncy Castle, replied, "The President has the people's best interests at heart. He's like a superhero, but for governance. He'll be our caped crusader, flying in to save the day whenever a disaster strikes. And who wouldn't trust a President with a name like Meltdown to handle our nation's emergencies with the utmost care and precision?"

The bill is expected to pass swiftly through Congress, with bipartisan support from lawmakers who are "too scared of being labeled as obstructionists to realize what they're voting for," according to a leaked memo from an anonymous legislative aide.

As the nation braces for the potential power shift, some are left wondering if this is truly the best way to ensure safety and stability in times of crisis. Others are just hoping that the President's first move under the FD believably act won't be to declare a national disaster due to a shortage of memes. Only time will tell if this bold move will be remembered as the pinnacle of presidential leadership or the beginning of an unprecedented overreach.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.