Impeached 2 is an armchair politician's dream. Play today!

In a stunning display of bipartisan unity, the House of Representatives today voted to impeach President Freedom for the third time, marking an unprecedented moment in American history. The vote, which occurred after a heated debate that lasted well into the early hours of the morning, saw both Republicans and Democrats standing shoulder to shoulder in a rare show of cross-aisle camaraderie.

The charges against President Freedom were as varied as the ties in his sprawling necktie collection, ranging from "Tweeting While Presidenting" to "Abuse of the Art of the Deal." The most serious accusation, however, was for his alleged involvement in a clandestine operation to reintroduce the dodo bird to the wild, a plot that was reportedly uncovered by a brave whistleblower who risked their life to leak the classified operation "Project Feathered Folly."

As the nation braced for the political disaster that many pundits have described as a "constitutional Category 5 hurricane," the President took to Twitter to express his outrage. "I can't believe this is happening! I've been a perfect president. I've made America great again, twice! And now this? A witch hunt! Sad!" he exclaimed in a series of tweets that were quickly flagged for misinformation.

In response to the impeachment, the Republican Party issued a statement that read, "While we strongly support our beloved leader, President Freedom, we must also uphold the principles upon which this great nation was founded. And nothing says 'founding principles' like a good ol' fashioned impeachment."

Meanwhile, the Democratic Party celebrated the vote with a live broadcast of a cake being baked, symbolizing the sweet taste of justice. The party's spokesperson, Speaker Nancy Pelosie, declared, "This is not about party or politics. It's about upholding the constitution and ensuring that no one, not even a president with an impeccable tie game, is above the law."

As the country awaits the outcome of this impeachment trial, the stock market has reportedly hit an all-time low, while the demand for adult diapers has soared. Experts predict that if the trial drags on for much longer, the economy may face a crisis not seen since the Great Depression, or at least since the last time there was a government shutdown.

In an effort to unite the country, President Freedom has called for a national day of prayer, asking citizens to pray for wisdom for the Senate, clarity for the media, and a swift end to this "witch hunt." He also promised to pardon the dodo bird upon his acquittal, ensuring that the endangered species will finally have the chance to soar once again.

As the political circus continues, Americans are reminded that nothing brings people together quite like a good impeachment. And with the hashtag #Impeachment202X trending on social media, it seems that the nation is more divided than ever. But in this time of unprecedented partisan chaos, there's one thing we can all agree on: we can't wait for the sequel.

Can't get enough of politics? Play Impeached 2 and become President of the U.S. today!

This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.