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In an unprecedented move that has left political pundits and tax accountants alike scratching their heads, the impeached President Chester R. Babbidge has unveiled a bold plan to revolutionize the American tax code. The plan, titled "Tomorrow's Taxes for a Futuristic America" (TTF-A), aims to implement a series of radical changes that would see the introduction of quantum computing as a new method of tax collection, and the abolition of traditional income tax in favor of a cryptocurrency-based system.

According to the plan, which was leaked to the press via a self-replicating drone equipped with a holographic projector, President Babbidge intends to "liberate the American populace from the antiquated shackles of the Internal Revenue Service (IRS)" and "usher in a new era of fiscal transparency and economic freedom." The proposed tax code overhaul includes:

1. The Quantum Audit Initiative (QAI): Utilizing the principles of quantum entanglement, the IRS would be able to audit every tax return simultaneously, ensuring that not a single dollar of the American taxpayer's hard-earned money is underutilized by the government. Critics argue that this could lead to a "quantum audit nightmare," where taxpayers might find their savings suddenly entangled with national debt.

2. The Cryptocurrency Tax Act (CTA): A bold step towards de-dollaring the American economy, the CTA would replace the traditional income tax with a system based on cryptocurrencies, which would be mined and taxed in real-time. This would mean that every purchase, from a cup of coffee to a luxury yacht, would automatically trigger a tax calculation, leading to an unprecedented level of economic precision and, presumably, a new set of IRS-sanctioned cryptocurrency exchanges.

3. The Future Wealth Assumption Protocol (FWAP): This innovative approach to taxation assumes that every American citizen will become a billionaire by the year 2100. Consequently, the tax code would be adjusted to accommodate the inevitable wealth of future generations, with the government preparing to collect its "fair share" from the inevitable trillions that will undoubtedly flow into the American economy.

4. The Zero-Gravity Tax Evasion Deterrent (ZGTED): In a move to combat tax evasion, President Babbidge's plan includes the development of a space-based defense system capable of tracking financial transactions from orbit. Tax evaders be warned: the IRS will soon have eyes in the sky.

The reaction to the proposal has been predictably polarized. While some futurists hail the plan as a visionary leap towards a more efficient and fair tax system, others have dubbed it "the most absurd political gambit in the annals of American history." Economists are divided, with some claiming that the plan could potentially "untangle the Gordian knot of our convoluted tax code" and others insisting that it's a "fantastical flight of fancy" that will lead to "quantum economic collapse."

As the impeached President Babbidge gears up for a battle in the courts and the court of public opinion, one thing is certain: the future of taxation in America will never be the same. Whether this is a bold step towards a brighter fiscal future or a political stunt designed to distract from current impeachment proceedings remains to be seen. But one thing is clear: in the world of politics, nothing is off the table, not even quantum tax collection.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.