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In a stunning turn of events, the House of Representatives has called for an urgent session to vote on the impeachment of President Blithering, citing "grievous economic mismanagement" as the primary reason. The move comes amidst a growing economic crisis that has seen the stock market tumble, unemployment rates skyrocket, and the national debt reach astronomical heights.

The President, who recently took a controversial selfie with a bag of gold doubloons, has been under fire for his economic policies, which many critics claim have contributed to the nation's financial woes. His signature economic plan, "Trickle-Down Elixir," has been widely panned by both economists and the general public, who argue that the only thing trickling down is the cost of a gallon of milk.

In response to the impeachment threat, the Senate has convened a special committee to investigate the economic collapse, which they have creatively named "The Committee to Investigate the Economic Collapse." The committee, led by the esteemed Senator Ponderosa, has already made significant headway by confirming that yes, indeed, the economy is in a state of collapse.

Meanwhile, members of Congress are locked in a fierce debate over the impeachment vote, with some arguing that removing President Blithering from office is the only way to save the economy, while others insist that it would be an unprecedented move that could lead to further economic instability.

"If we impeach the President, it will send a clear message that we are serious about fixing the economy," said Representative Quickdraw, a fiery advocate for impeachment. "On the other hand, if we don't, it will send a clear message that we are serious about not fixing the economy."

On the other side of the aisle, Senator Steadyhand argued that impeachment would be akin to "cutting off your nose to spite your face," a metaphor that left many confused, as it was unclear whether his face was attached to his nose or if he was simply using a euphemism for a more drastic procedure.

As the nation watches with bated breath, the House of Representatives prepares to cast their votes, with the weight of the economy hanging in the balance. Will they choose to impeach and potentially save the nation's financial future, or will they opt to maintain the status quo, ensuring that the only thing certain is uncertainty?

In related news, a group of economists has released a report suggesting that the key to economic recovery may lie in a mysterious substance known only as "Fiscal Fuel." However, further details remain elusive, as the report was written in an ancient dialect of Latin that has since been lost to the annals of history. Experts are currently working to decipher the text, which could either be the answer to our economic prayers or just another cryptic riddle from the sages of old.

Stay tuned as this story develops, and remember, if you've got it, flaunt it—unless it's the economy, in which case, maybe keep that under wraps.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.