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In a stunning turn of events that has left political pundits and historians alike scratching their heads in bewilderment, the United States has witnessed the unthinkable: an election that has somehow managed to out-trump even the most outlandish episodes of the hit television series "House of Cards."

The election, which pitted the incumbent President Frank Underwood against his long-time nemesis, Vice President Claire Dunbar, took a bizarre twist when a mysterious figure known only as "Q-Pac" began to orchestrate a series of events that would shake the very foundations of American democracy.

As the campaign trail became a circus of unprecedented proportions, with both candidates engaging in political stunts that ranged from debates held in wrestling rings to policy proposals delivered via rap battles, the electorate was left grappling with a sense of deja vu. The surreal spectacle reached its peak when President Underwood, in a move that can only be described as a Hail Mary pass, announced his intention to impeach himself in order to demonstrate his commitment to transparency and public service.

Vice President Dunbar, seizing the opportunity, declared the impeachmenthment a "masterful display of political jujitsu" and promised to lead the country into a new era of governance, which she dubbed "The Dunbar Renaissance." However, her victory was short-lived as she was subsequently impeached for using a drone to deliver her acceptance speech to the United Nations.

In the midst of this chaos, a previously unknown clause in the Constitution, Article 23.5, was invoked by a group of rogue historians who claimed they were merely "fact-checking the narrative." This led to the establishment of a "Historical Tribunal," composed of renowned figures from American history, including Benjamin Franklin, Susan B. Anthony, and Mark Twain, who were resurrected for the occasion.

The Tribunal, with a penchant for sardonic humor, began issuing rulings that were as unpredictable as they were unconstitutional. For instance, they declared that all future elections must be held in a coliseum with candidates battling it out in gladiator attire, much to the chagrin of political consultants everywhere.

As the nation braces itself for what is being called "The Great American Farce of 2023," political analysts are predicting that this will go down in history as the most ironic and satirical chapter in the annals of American political history. Meanwhile, the rest of the world watches in a mixture of horror and hilarity, as the United States once again proves that it is the undisputed champion of political theater.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.