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In a stunning twist of events that has left political pundits and futurists alike both awe-struck and bewildered, the groundbreaking campaign "Vote for the Future or Else" has been unveiled. Led by the enigmatic figure known only as "Futureman," this campaign promises to reimagine the very fabric of politics, all while being embroiled in a scandal that could make Watergate look like a schoolyard squabble.

The campaign, which initially garnered praise for its innovative use of quantum computing to predict the best policies for the next millennium, has hit a snag. Allegations have surfaced that Futureman's team has been secretly waging a war not on foreign soil, but in the metaphysical realm of time itself. The accusation is that they've been attempting to retroactively influence past political decisions, ensuring their candidates' victories were preordained.

In a press conference that would make a dramatist weep, Futureman addressed the nation with a straight face, denying any wrongdoing while simultaneously admitting that, yes, they did indeed send a time-traveling delegate to the Constitutional Convention to suggest the addition of a clause that would make their campaign's predictions legally binding. "It's all for the betterment of society," Futureman declared, his eyes glinting with the promise of a future where elections are a mere formality.

The campaign's slogan, "Vote for the Future or Else," has taken on a double meaning, as citizens are now faced with a stark choice: either embrace this brave new world of predetermined politics or risk being erased from the annals of time for their dissent. The futurist's dystopian vision has thus far been met with a mix of fear and admiration, with many voters wondering if they're witnessing the dawn of a new era or the final moments before the apocalypse.

In a related incident, a leaked memo from the campaign's headquarters revealed that they have also been developing a line of robotic candidates, designed to be impervious to corruption and capable of running for office in perpetuity. The memo was quick to assure the public that these robots would be programmed with the utmost ethical standards and would never engage in the unsavory practices of human politicians. That is, unless they were reprogrammed by a rival campaign using a hypothetical quantum computing virus, which the memo also mentioned, just to cover all bases.

As the campaign continues to unfold, one thing is clear: the line between satire and reality has been erased, and the future of politics has never been more... uncertain.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.