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In a stunning exposé that has sent shockwaves through the scientific community and the political arena alike, a series of leaked memos have surfaced, detailing the controversial campaign strategy of the incumbent President, known as Dr. Factless. The memos, purportedly authored by the President's top advisors, including the infamous Dr. Spinelli and the enigmatic Madam Misdirection, outline a plan to exploit the public's misunderstanding of science for electoral gain.

The strategy, dubbed "Operation Fact-less America," is a multi-pronged approach designed to discredit reputable scientific institutions, misrepresent scientific data, and promote unfounded conspiracy theories. The memo suggests that by sowing doubt and confusion among voters, the President can maintain the support of those who are skeptical of science, while simultaneously rallying the base with sensationalist claims and grandiose promises.

One particularly outrageous proposal suggests enlisting the help of a former professional wrestler, Wrestler McGuffin, to "grapple with the truth" and "body slam facts" during campaign rallies. The memo claims that Mr. McGuffin's flair for the dramatic and his ability to "pin down" scientific consensus with his bare hands would resonate with the electorate and become a viral sensation.

Furthermore, the memos reveal a plan to co-opt renowned scientists, known as the "Ph.D. Sleeper Cell," to publicly endorse the President's policies, regardless of their actual scientific findings. These "double agents" are promised lucrative government contracts and research grants in exchange for their silence or complicity in distorting scientific truths.

In a particularly dark twist, the documents hint at the creation of a "Ministry of Truth," tasked with censoring any scientific data that contradicts the administration's narrative. This Orwellian department would be responsible for controlling the flow of information to the public, ensuring that only data favorable to the President's electionion bid reaches the masses.

As the nation grapples with the implications of these revelations, experts are warning of a potential "post-truth" era where facts are secondary to political gain. Meanwhile, the President's office has dismissed the memos as "fake science" concocted by "liberal academics" and has vowed to press on with the campaign, promising to "make America ignorant again."

The scientific community, already reeling from years of funding cuts and policy setbacks, is calling for a unified front to combat what they are calling "the greatest threat to evidence-based governance in modern history."

In the midst of this controversy, one thing is clear: the upcoming election is not just a battle for political power, but a fight for the soul of American science and the integrity of the democratic process.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.