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In an unexpected turn of events that has left political analysts and international relations experts scratching their heads, the Supreme Court has made a ruling that could potentially trigger the largest international war since the dawn of civilization. At the heart of this impending conflict is a seemingly innocuous dispute over disaster relief funds.

The drama unfolds after a unanimous decision by the Supreme Court justices, known collectively as "The Honorable Benches," who deemed that the Federal Disaster Assistance Relief Fund (FDARF) was to be distributed not just among U.S. states but also made available to any international entity capable of proving they have a "significant number of voters" in the previous presidential election.

This ruling has sparked a frenzy of activity, with nations around the world scrambling to claim their share of the funds. Iceland, for instance, has staked its claim by producing a "convincing" dossier of social media posts and hashtags used by U.S. residents sympathizing with their country's "volcanic hardships." Meanwhile, Canada has countered with a campaign dubbed "Operation MapleSnow," which involves sending lumberjacks to cut down trees in the most historically snowy regions of the U.S. to "preserve evidence" of their winter woes.

The international community is not the only one rattled by this decision. Within the United States, Congress has been thrown into disarray, with members from both the "Donkey" and "Elephant" parties uniting in a rare display of bipartisanship to oppose this ruling. They argue that the Supreme Court has overstepped its boundaries, effectively opening Pandora's box of international aid and, by extension, international influence.

In the midst of this, a new political star has emerged. Senator "Patriot Hawk," known for her impassioned speeches and hair-raising rhetoric, has launched a campaign to amend the Constitution, claiming that the ruling has "thrown the very fabric of our nation into jeopardy." Her counterpart, Senator "Eagle Eye," has equally fervent opposing views, declaring the ruling a "humanitarian triumph," and has started a grassroots movement called "Aid Before Borders."

As the world holds its breath, the only certainty is that campaign season is going to heat up faster than a Louisiana summer, and the political landscape is about to become more volatile than a Chicago street rally. Will the Supreme Court's decision stand, or will it lead to a global conflict over who gets a piece of the disaster relief pie? Only time will tell, but one thing is for sure: the world will never look at disaster relief the same way again.

In related news, a new reality TV show has been greenlit: "Survivor: International Disaster Edition," where countries compete to out-suffer each other for a chance at relief funds. Stay tuned for the drama, the tears, and the hilariously ironic twists that are sure to come.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.