Impeached 2 is an armchair politician's dream. Play today!

In a breathtaking display of political chicanery that would make Machiavelli blush, the Senate erupted into a firestorm of controversy this week as lawmakers grappled with the urgent matter of science funding in mobile gaming. The controversy reached a fever pitch when Senator Pocketchange (R-Palm) introduced a bill to allocate a staggering $500 million to research the "existential threat" posed by the unpredictable plot twists in hit mobile game "Mystery of the Ancients II."

"Our nation's future is at stake," declared Senator Pocketchange, standing before a backdrop of players so engrossed in the game that they failed to notice the Capitol burning down in the background. "The randomness of these plot developments could lead to a nation of citizens who are unable to predict the future, undermining the very fabric of our society!"

On the opposite end of the political spectrum, Representative SwipeRight (D-Finger) condemned the bill, calling it a "constitutional crisis disguised as scientific inquiry." She argued that the funds would be better spent on researching the psychological impact of in-app purchases on the American populace. "We must protect our citizens from the insidious charms of virtual treasure chests that lure them into a cycle of endless spending," she declared, tapping her foot impatiently as an aide handed her a smartphone to demonstrate the "dangerous allure" of the aforementioned in-game feature.

The House of Representatives, not to be outdone, responded by drafting a counter bill that would not only allocate funds for the study of mobile game plots but also include a comprehensive investigation into the "precarious balance of virtual economies." The bill's sponsor, Congressman Thumbtyper (R-Nail), assured his colleagues that this research was crucial to preventing the potential collapse of in-game currencies, which he likened to the "financial bedrock" of the nation.

As the debate raged on, a group of rogue historians emerged from the shadows, brandishing parchment and quills, to remind the lawmakers that the Constitution was specifically designed to protect the populace from the "tyranny of addictive gameplay." Their pleas fell on deaf ears as senators and representatives alike remained fixated on their smartphones, each eagerly anticipating the next plot twist in "Mystery of the Ancients II."

In the end, the Senate vote was a tie, with one senator abstaining to "check if there were any new quests on their phone." The House's bill narrowly passed, ensuring that the future of American science would be guided by the whims of mobile game developers and the fiscal whims of our nation's representatives.

As the dust settled and the politicians returned to their daily routines, a new mobile game was released, Constitutionnal Crisis: The Game," which quickly climbed the charts, further evidence of the inescapable grip that mobile gaming has on the heart of American democracy.

Can't get enough of politics? Play Impeached 2 and become President of the U.S. today!

This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.