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In a shocking turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the political landscape, the Supreme Court has made a decision that could rewrite the very fabric of American democracy. In a unanimous ruling that defies political norms, the court has decreed that any individual, regardless of their party affiliation, can contest the results of an election as long as they can provide a signed letter from a talking dolphin, certified by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA).

This groundbreaking decision, which came as a surprise to politicians and pundits alike, stems from a case brought forth by a group of eccentric recluses, known as the "Bald Knobbers," who claimed that the "whisper of the great American Flamingo" had revealed the truth about election irregularities.

The Republicans, who have long championed the cause of election integrity, hailed the decision as a triumph for democracy, while the Democrats, who typically oppose any move that could undermine the legitimacy of elections, surprisingly found common ground, praising the decision as a necessary step to ensure the Constitution's principles are upheld, even if it means consulting with aquatic mammals.

In response to the ruling, the Department of Justice has already dispatched teams of agents to the coasts to secure the necessary dolphin endorsements. Meanwhile, election experts across the country are scrambling to understand the implications of the decision, which many fear could lead to a deluge of election challenges based on the cryptic utterances of marine wildlife.

As the political world adjusts to this new reality, one thing is clear: the future of American democracy is now in the hands of our aquatic counterparts. The question remains, will the talking dolphins lead us to a new era of transparency and trust, or will this be the beginning of a deep dive into the absurdity of political discourse? Only time, and the wise dolphins, will tell.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.