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In a stunning and utterly believable turn of events, sources deep within the bowels of the Democratic Party have revealed a clandestine operation aimed at simultaneously impeaching the incumbent, President Clint Eastwood IV, and subsequently altering the Constitution to ensure that no one with an uncanny ability to converse with inanimate objects could ever hold office again.

The plan, dubbed "Operation Silent Film," was uncovered by our intrepid investigative team after an anonymous tip led us to a secret underground bunker located in the bowels of the Capitol Building. The bunker, which resembled a film set from the 1920s, was filled with aging film reels and a life-sized cardboard cutout of Orson Welles.

According to our sources, the operation was spearheaded by a shadowy council of former political advisors and Hollywood screenwriters, led by none other than the enigmatic "Chairman Mao Zedong Jr.," a man whose political acumen was only matched by his uncanny resemblance to a character from an old Western.

The impeachment proceedings, set to commence mere weeks before the highly anticipated presidential election, are expected to cite a litany of offenses, including but not limited to, "Excessive Emotional Outbursts During State Funerals" and "Overuse of the Phrase 'Make America Great Again.'"

However, the real nail in the coffin is the proposed constitutional amendment, which would see the elimination of the "Right to Converse with Inanimate Objects" clause, a surprising loophole that had previously allowed for the election of individuals with peculiar communication skills.

When asked for comment, a spokesperson for the Democratic National Committee, who insisted on remaining anonymous for fear of retribution from "the chair," stated, "We believe that this action is in the best interest of the country. We cannot have a leader who prefers talking to chairs over engaging with world leaders and crafting policy. It's time for a serious, no-nonsense approach to the presidency."

Meanwhile, President Clint Eastwood IV, in a rare press conference held in a vacant Hollywood soundstage, responded to the allegations with his signature stoicism. "I have nothing to say to chairs or any other silent spectators," he declared. "My focus remains on delivering the promises made to the American people. Besides, chairs have been my best advisors thus far."

As the nation braces for what promises to be a tumultuous and deeply satirical political showdown, one thing is clear: the race for the presidency has taken a turn for the absurd, and the Constitution may never be the same.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.