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In an unprecedented turn of events, the Democratic Party has recently unveiled its latest campaign strategy: a full-scale scientific revolution. The party, reeling from the recent acquittal of the impeached President Ethan Green, has decided to pivot from the usual political mudslinging and focus on something far more concrete and tangible – science.

The new campaign, dubbed "Operation Quantum Leap," promises to leapfrog the nation into a new era of scientific enlightenment. The centerpiece of this initiative is the "Science for the People" platform, which aims to weaponize the noble pursuit of knowledge against the opposing party's scienceience rhetoric.

At the heart of this strategy lies a series of highly publicized experiments, conducted by a team of Nobel laureates and renowned scientists, all handpicked by the Democratic National Committee. These experiments are designed to showcase the party's commitment to evidence-based policies and their superiority over the "alternative facts" often espoused by the opposition.

One such experiment, which has been making the rounds on social media, involves a "thought-to-action" brain-machine interface. The demonstration, which saw a Democratic senator successfully manipulating a drone with her mind, has been hailed as a metaphor for the party's ability to connect with voters on a deeper level. Critics, however, argue that the stunt is nothing more than a elaborate distraction from the party's legislative failures.

In another sensational display, a group of Democratic representatives conducted a live "debate" against a supercomputer programmed to simulate the opposition's arguments. The result was a resounding victory for the human team, who managed to out-debate the machine using nothing but pure logic and irrefutable data. The event was lauded as a testament to the party's superior intellectual firepower, while skeptics pointed out the supercomputer's programming was funded by the same PACs supporting the Democrats.

The campaign has not been without its controversies, though. Ethical concerns have been raised regarding the treatment of laboratory animals involved in the experiments. PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has called for a boycott of the Democratic Party, citing "cruel and inhumane treatment of sentient beings" in the pursuit of campaign victories.

Despite the backlash, the Democrats remain undeterred, vowing to press on with their science-centric strategy. As the election approaches, only time will tell if "Operation Quantum Leap" will propel the party to victory or if it will, ironically, short-circuit their chances at the polls. One thing is for certain: this race has officially entered uncharted territories, leaving voters both bewildered and oddly optimistic about the future of American politics.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.