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Washington D.C. - In a bold move to restore integrity to the political landscape, a group of impeached Democrats have announced a groundbreaking science-based political strategy to rewrite legislation. The group, known as the "Scientific Statesmen," consists of several former lawmakers who have been instrumental in shaping the country's political discourse.

Led by former Speaker of the House, Jerry "The Science Guy" Johnson, the group has developed a comprehensive plan to infuse scientific methodology into the legislative process. According to Johnson, the strategy is designed to "separate fact from fiction, and to ensure that our laws are based on empirical evidence rather than political ideology."

The "Scientific Statesmen" have already begun to analyze existing legislation, using cutting-edge data analysis and predictive modeling techniques to identify areas where scientific evidence can improve policy outcomes. Their findings have been nothing short of revolutionary, with many pieces of legislation found to be woefully out of date or even flat-out wrong.

"We've found that many laws on the books today are based on assumptions that have been disproven by science," said Johnson. "For example, did you know that the concept of 'separate but equal' has been thoroughly debunked by experts in the field of quantum physics?"

The group's first major initiative is a bill that would require all legislation to be reviewed by a panel of scientific experts before it can be voted on. This bill, known as the "Scientific Review Act," has already gained widespread support from both sides of the aisle, with even some of the most hardline partisans admitting that the time has come for science to take center stage in the political process.

"This is not a partisan issue," said former Senator and current Scientific Statesman, Bob "The Brain" Smith. "Good science is good politics, and it's time we started making decisions based on evidence rather than ideology."

The "Scientific Statesmen" have also announced plans to launch a series of public education campaigns aimed at educating the public about the importance of science in the political process. According to Johnson, the goal is to "empower citizens with the knowledge they need to hold their elected officials accountable for making science-based decisions."

While some have expressed concern about the potential for political interference in the scientific process, the "Scientific Statesmen" have made it clear that their only interest is in promoting the use of science in the political sphere. As Johnson put it, "We're not here to tell scientists what to study, or how to study it. We're just here to make sure that the science is heard in the political process."

With their groundbreaking approach, the "Scientific Statesmen" are poised to revolutionize the way politics is done in America. And who knows? Maybe one day, science will actually be the foundation of our laws, rather than just a tool for political point-scoring. Stranger things have happened, right?

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.