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In an extraordinary turn of events, sources close to both the Republican and Democratic parties have exclusively revealed to the Laughing Stock Gazette that taxation has officially become the secret weapon in the ongoing political showdown that has gripped the nation in the wake of the catastrophic SuperMoonQuake.

In a masterstroke of political strategy, both parties have allegedly devised a plan to not only fund the immense recovery efforts but also to gain an upper hand in the upcoming elections. The plan, dubbed "Operation Fiscal Fisticuffs," involves a series of legislative maneuvers that would see taxes on various goods and services fluctuate like the tides, directly correlating with public sentiment and natural disaster relief efforts.

According to our deep-cover operative, codenamed "The Fiscal Falcon," the strategy is as follows: when the public is dismayed by the slow pace of recovery, the opposing party will introduce a bill to increase taxes on luxury items, claiming it's for the greater good. However, as soon as the public's ire shifts towards the party in power, the same bill will be mysteriously withdrawn, leaving voters bewildered and the incumbent party seemingly more compassionate.

The political gamesmanship doesn't stop there. Our sources indicate that in times of national disaster, the parties have agreed to a truce in their usual war of words, only to engage in a dance of fiscal manipulation that would make a ballroom dancer dizzy. They've even been known to chant "tax the rich" in unison, before surreptitiously slipping riders into larger bills that actually protect the financial interests of the wealthiest citizens.

The Laughing Stock Gazette has also obtained a leaked internal memo from a major political consulting firm, which suggests that the firm is offering "Disaster Discounts" on campaign consulting services, providing parties with the expertise to predict and manipulate the public's emotional response to disasters for political gain.

In response to these revelations, the general public has been reported to be both outraged and oddly amused, with many taking to social media to express their disbelief and distrust in the political system. However, the same people are also secretly admitting that they can't wait to see which party will blink first in this high-stakes game of fiscal poker.

As the nation watches with bated breath, the political elite continue their grand dance, using taxation as a pendulum to swing public opinion and secure their seats of power. The real question remains: in the midst of a national disaster, are our elected officials more dedicated to serving their own interests or genuinely committed to the recovery and well-being of their constituents?

The Laughing Stock Gazette will continue to monitor this development and bring you the facts, as long as they don't get caught up in the political whirlwind themselves. Stay tuned for more updates on this unfolding drama, where the only certainty is uncertainty, and the only thing more unpredictable than the weather is politics.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.