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In a shocking turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the corridors of power and the laboratories of innovation, the upcoming election in the House of Representatives has unexpectedly become a battleground over the future of taxation and science funding. The incumbent, Rep. WealthGrabber (R-Wealthville), has proposed a groundbreaking initiative to fund science entirely through a new voluntary tax program aptly named "Scientific Altruism."

The plan, which has been met with a mix of bewilderment and glee among the populace, would allow citizens to donate their hard-earned money directly to scientific endeavors. "Why should the government decide where our tax dollars go?" exclaimed Rep. WealthGrabber in a press release that was part rally cry, part infomercial. "Let the people, the true architects of progress, guide the flow of funds to the laboratories and minds that will shape our future!"

Opponents of the plan, including the charismatic and outspoken Rep. BudgetBuster (D-Expensetown), argue that this is a thinly veiled attempt to defund science and redirect public interest away from the critical research that keeps America at the forefront of innovation. "This is a dangerous game of roulette with our nation's scientific integrity," Rep. BudgetBuster declared in a fiery speech on the House floor, complete with dramatic hand gestures that could only be described as 'scientifically accurate.'

The controversy has sparked a national debate, with talk show hosts, social media influencers, and even the weather forecasters weighing in on the issue. Meanwhile, the science community has been split down the middle, with some hailing the initiative as a revolutionary step towards democratizing science funding, while others fear it could lead to a patchwork of underfunded projects and a new era of sciencee by popular demand.'

In a surprising twist, a group of rogue scientists has taken matters into their own hands, launching a grassroots campaign to encourage citizens to donate to science. They've even created a catchy jingle that's been inexplicably stuck in the heads of unsuspecting voters. The jingle, which features a catchy tune and lyrics like "Got to fund the science, gotta do it for the good of mankind!" has been played on an endless loop at local science fairs and in the background of live interviews on C-SPAN.

As the election draws near, the race between Rep. WealthGrabber and Rep. BudgetBuster has become a high-stakes drama with the fate of science funding hanging in the balance. The outcome of this election could very well reshape the landscape of taxation and determine whether America's scientific endeavors will continue to thrive or falter in the hands of the masses.

Stay tuned as we continue to follow this developing story, where the pen is mightier than the budget, and the future of science hangs in the balance like a delicate experiment on the edge of a laboratory countertop.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.