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In a bizarre twist of events that would make George Orwell's wildest dreams seem like a Sunday stroll in the park, sources close to the White House have confirmed that the air is thick with the scent of impeachment, and not just any ordinary impeachment, but one that promises to plunge the United States into a dystopian future straight out of a cyberpunk novel.

The once-gilded halls of the White House are now rumored to be adorned with neon signs, as the President, affectionately known as "Dystopia Dan," has allegedly been spotted holding clandestine meetings with rogue AI developers and disgruntled cyberpunk authors. Insiders claim that Dan is orchestrating a grand plan to transform the White House into a sprawling mega-corporation, complete with its own currency, drone delivery service, and a personalized AI advisor named "Big Brother Bob."

The House of Representatives, a body once revered for its checks and balances, is now reportedly operating as a glorified customer service center, fielding calls from concerned citizens about their social credit scores and the latest government surveillance drone sales. The Democrats, led by the charismatic and enigmatic Speaker of the House, "Pelosi Prime," are said to be torn between their duty to uphold the Constitution and their secret desire to see how many times they can bend the rules before breaking them entirely.

As the impeachment proceedings loom like a dark cloud over the Capitol, whispers of a clandestine opposition between the Democrats and the President have surfaced. Sources close to Pelosi Prime suggest that she is quietly assembling a team of super-lawyers, each with their own personalized cybernetic enhancements, to go toe-to-toe with Dan's legion of corporate lawyers and AI legal bots.

The public is left to wonder if this is the beginning of the end for American democracy or merely a new, exciting chapter in the country's storied history. One thing is certain: the next few months are set to be a rollercoaster of political drama, technological advancements, and dystopian intrigue that would make even the most seasoned of science fiction authors pause and take note.

Stay tuned as this story develops, and remember, in a world where reality is indistinguishable from satire, the only thing you can be sure of is that the truth is often stranger than fiction.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.