Impeached 2 is an armchair politician's dream. Play today!

In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves through the hallowed halls of Congress, a bipartisan committee has uncovered a nefarious plot by mobile gaming conglomerates to profit from the misery of Americans during natural disasters. The ring-leader, a company known as "Cataclysmic Quest Inc.," has been accused of orchestrating virtual events that mirrored real-world natural disasters with unsettling accuracy.

The scandal, which has been dubbed "Disaster Disaster," came to light when a sharp-eyed intern noticed the uncanny similarity between the in-game destruction of the fictional town of "Floodmuda" and the recent catastrophic flooding in the Midwest. Further investigation revealed that Cataclysmic Quest Inc. had been releasing a series of updates that capitalized on the chaos of real-world disasters, offering players "exclusive loot" and "limited-time quests" to deal with the virtual calamities.

The company's defense, presented by their high-priced lobbyists, was as convoluted as a level with too many branching paths. They argued that their simulations provided a "safe space" for players to experience the thrill of survival in a controlled environment, thus reducing the need for Americans to actually face the perils of real-life disasters. The committee was not convinced, especially when evidence emerged that suggested the company had been lobbying for laxer building codes under the guise of "innovative design principles," effectively creating a larger customer base for their disaster-themed games.

In response to the uproar, Congress has introduced a bill, the "Virtual Calamities Consumer Protection Act," which aims to regulate the ethical boundaries of mobile gaming during times of national emergency. The bill's lead sponsor, Senator Thunderclap (R-Storm State) and Representative Tempest (D-Weather District), have promised to swiftly bring this "digital disaster profiteering" to an end.

As the nation grapples with the implications of this scandal, many are left wondering if the line between virtual and real has been irrevocably blurred. Meanwhile, Cataclysmic Quest Inc. has reported a surge in stock value, as investors anticipate the next big update: "The Capital Hill Chaos Expansion Pack." Will Congress rise to the occasion and protect the integrity of national emergencies, or will they end up as high-scoring enemies in the game of governance? Only time will tell.

Can't get enough of politics? Play Impeached 2 and become President of the U.S. today!

This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.