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In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves through the political landscape, a team of historians and archaeologists unearthed a long-lost document deep beneath the capital, believed to be the original draft of the United States Constitution. The document, which has been affectionately dubbed "The Lost Lexicon," contains provisions that, if enacted, would revolutionize the way democratic legislation is crafted and implemented.

The Lost Lexicon, penned by a mysterious figure known only as "Founding Father Figment," outlines a series of amendments that would require all future legislation to include a mandatory weekly "Humor Hour" where lawmakers must engage in comedic performances to "lighten the mood" and "ensure that the spirit of democracy is upheld with a hearty laugh."

Political experts are divided on the implications of this discovery. Some argue that this could be a game-changer for the Democrats, who have long championed the importance of humor in governance. "Think about it," says Senator Chuckles McGuffin, "if our laws are born from laughter, they're bound to be more palatable to the public and less contentious among us."

Others, however, are skeptical of the practicality of such a measure. "It's one thing to have a good chuckle over a meme," remarks Representative Serious Face Washington, "but our legislative process is no laughing matter."

Despite the skepticism, the Speaker of the House, Laughing Linda Loudspeaker, has called for an emergency session of Congress to review The Lost Lexicon. "We have a responsibility to our forefathers to honor their vision, even if it means wearing a pair of comedy pants to work every Friday," she proclaimed.

As the nation braces for what could be the most comedic session in history, political pundits are predicting a surge in campaign contributions from the comedy community, eager to see their favorite humorists take the helm of legislative bodies. Comedians across the country are preparing their material, ready to draft bills that could range from the mundane to the absolutely absurd.

In a world where politics is often seen as a bleak arena of partisan bickering, The Lost Lexicon promises to bring a new light to the hallowed halls of governance. Will the United States embrace this return to its humorist roots, or will the seriousness of governance prevail? Only time will tell, but one thing is for certain: the next Congressional session will be one for the history books, for better or for worse.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.