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In a shocking turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the hallowed halls of Capitol Hill, a daring Senate insider has come forward with a revelation that threatens to upend the very foundation of American tax law. The source, who has chosen to remain anonymous for fear of retribution, claims to have stumbled upon a century-old document that not only predates the current tax legislation but also outlines a clandestine plan to fund an intergalactic gaming empire.

The document, which has been authenticated by a team of historians and cryptologists, was allegedly drafted by a secret society of Founding Fathers, known colloquially as the "High Rollers of Liberty." This elite group, according to the insider, had a vision of a future where America would dominate the cosmos through interstellar taxation and space-age gaming.

The plan, which was ingeniously crafted to remain undetected for centuries, was to gradually implement a series of tax loopholes and deductions that would funnel vast amounts of Earthly currency into a black-ops budget, earmarked for the development of a spacefaring civilization. This budget, the insider claims, has been covertly funded by gamingg revenues" from a top-secret alien slot machine discovered on the moon during the Apollo missions.

The revelation has sent politicians into a tailspin, with both parties denouncing the other for their supposed role in perpetuating this intergalactic charade. Senator Galacticus Quickdraw (R-AstroNomics) has called for an immediate investigation into the matter, while Senator Stargazer Moonbeam (D-CosmicDreams) has accused her counterpart of political grandstanding.

In the meantime, citizens across the nation are left reeling, questioning the true purpose of their tax dollars and the extent of their government's reach into the cosmos. As the story continues to unfold, one thing is clear: the game of political one-upmanship has taken on a whole new dimension.

In a related development, the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has released a statement assuring taxpayers that their hard-earned money is being used responsibly, and that any rumors of extraterrestrial gambling enterprises are, of course, purely speculative. They also remind citizens that the tax season is fast approaching, and to file their returns on time to avoid any intergalactic fines.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.