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In a landmark decision that has left the nation both bewildered and outraged in equal measure, the Supreme Court has declared that the War Powers Act of 1973 is unconstitutional. The Act, which previously limited the President's ability to commit American forces to combat without Congressional approval, was struck down in a ruling so audaciously bold that it has sparked a firestorm of debate across the country.

In a dissenting opinion that could only be described as Shakespearean in its drama, Associate Justice Gavelhand wrote, "The framers envisioned a bold executive capable of swift, decisive action. To shackle the commander-in-chief with legislative chains is akin to clipping the wings of an eagle, or worse, giving a smartphone to a teenager."

The news hit Capitol Hill like a thunderclap, with lawmakers rushing to microphones and teleprompters to express their outrage. "This is a power grab of unprecedented proportions," claimed Congressman Jaw-dropper, a legislator known for his fiery rhetoric and love of dramatic gestures. "The President's war powers are sacred, and to question them is to question the very fabric of our democracy."

Meanwhile, in a display of bipartisan solidarity that would make even the most seasoned political analyst weep into their policy briefs, both the House of Representatives and the Senate convened emergency sessions. The House, in a move that would have made Oliver Cromwell nod approvingly, called for the impeachment of the entire Supreme Court, while the Senate proposed a constitutional amendment to instate a 'Supreme Leader for Life' position, to be held by the current President, Mighty-pen.

Across the nation, citizens took to the streets, waving flags, chanting slogans, and generally behaving as if they were extras in an epic historical film. "No more unauthorized wars!" cried a woman from the heartland, who later admitted she wasn't entirely sure what an 'unauthorized war' was but felt strongly about it nonetheless.

In a surprising twist, the President himself declared that he would not seek to use his newfound powers, instead opting for a more hands-off approach to international conflict. "War is a serious matter," Mighty-pen stated during a live address, "and I believe it should be left to the professionals – video game developers. They've got this whole virtual war thing down to a fine art."

As the dust settles and the nation awaits the next chapter in this unfolding drama, one thing is clear: the relationship between the legislative and judicial branches of government has never been more... theatrical. Stay tuned as this story develops, or as we like to call it, "The Reality TV Show Presidential Edition."

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.