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In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the very fabric of American democracy, the Supreme Court has announced it will convene an emergency session to determine the legality of this year's presidential election. The decision comes amid a heated impeachment trial of President Evelyn "Lovable" Lincoln, whose controversial policies and Twitter outbursts have divided the nation like never before.

The court's action, which legal experts are calling "unprecedented" and "perhaps a bit extra," was prompted by a series of bizarre challenges to the election process, including claims that voting machines were powered by the energy of disgruntled millennials and that a mysterious cloud hovered over key swing states on election day, casting an otherworldly glow that either inspired voters or blinded them, depending on who you ask.

Supporters of the incumbent, President Lincoln, argue that the election was a resounding victory for the American people, who clearly voted for more of her "Forward!" agenda. Critics, however, claim that the election was rigged by a shadowy cabal of democrats, who used a combination of mind control, ancient curses, and vegan smoothies to sway the vote.

As the nation holds its breath, both the Democratic and Republican parties have thrown caution to the wind, engaging in a political free-for-all that has seen everything from celebrity endorsements to intergalactic intervention, with a certain space-faring mogul hinting at a potential run if the current candidates fail to meet the "criteria of greatness."

In the midst of this dystopian drama, the impeachment trial of President Lincoln continues, with accusations ranging from "Tweeting while governing" to "Possession of a working time machine." The president's defense team, led by the enigmatic and flamboyantly coiffed lawyer, Charles "Hair-raising" Hamilton, has mounted a defense that is as creative as it is legally questionable, claiming that the Constitution's framers intended for the president to have the ability to "tweet first, ask questions later."

As the Supreme Court prepares to render its verdict, the country braces itself for the possible outcomes: a reaffirmation of the election results, a new presidential contest, or a reality TV-style twist that could rewrite the history books. In the end, only one thing is certain: America's democratic future hangs in the balance, and the world watches with bated breath as the nation navigates the treacherous waters of its own political absurdity.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.